Carrie-ing On

This was my day...

2012-02-02T22:45:00.000-08:00

Joe Fox: It wasn't... personal.

Kathleen Kelly: What is that supposed to mean? I am so sick of that. All that means is that it wasn't personal to you. But it was personal to me. It's personal to a lot of people. And what's so wrong with being personal, anyway?

Joe Fox: Uh, nothing.

Kathleen Kelly: Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal.

This was my day... only Joe Fox was a group of men, none of whom turned out to be charming... and I was Kathleen Kelly wondering if I said the right things. Why is it that when women are opinionated, strong, and focused they immediately feel bad and wonder if they were rude? Men never wonder this. Maybe it's just me? Oh the joys of the workplace...

Bloggers are people too

2012-02-01T20:07:00.000-08:00

I love my little corner of the blogosphere. In fact, I love most all of the blogosphere (just not the haters, mockers, and bullies... of which I know none, although sadly my cousin now does). This week, one of my favorite bloggers, C. Jane, started following me (and her 2000 other Facebook friends) on Pintrest. I know it's only Wednesday, but that made my week! Then, as if that wasn't happy-making enough, she wrote on my FB status (that I mentioned her in)!

The bloggers I follow feel like my neighbors. The kind who are friendly and enjoy living next door, but don't actually have dinner together or go to movies. These bloggers are my Internet neighbors in my corner of the blogosphere. It makes the world feel small, safe, and happy.

I remember the first time I met a blogger, it was the brilliantly talented Jasmine Star. I met her when she was photographing a good friend's wedding and she was SO sweet and exactly as I had hoped she would be! A few years later, I e-mailed with Joanna when I asked if she wanted to meet my mom and I for lunch while we were visiting NYC. She too was quite lovely. Recently, Olivia at Everyday Musings, started a FB page and I commented on it and she responded. That too was fun. Then I twittered Nina about pausing her blog and she wrote back a lovely response (she also sent me a Christmas card a couple years ago, which was very fun). And now, the interaction with C. Jane.

Love all of this social media bonding!

(and let's not forget that I re-connected with the lovely Kacie, who I knew as a little kid, through the blog world too!).

Bachelor via twitter

2012-01-30T22:00:00.000-08:00

Sick day haters

2012-01-23T15:05:00.000-08:00

I have a problem where people in my life make me feel very guilty for taking sick days. I am often told I take too many sick days or should take vitamins or need to work on my attendance... and yet, these same people often admit that I have an excellent work ethic, get things done quickly, and always do my best. Can the two opinions actually exist?

My counselor is always reminding me to realize and accept that it's "their problem, not mine," but I am not very good at that. I seek approval and support in my actions and decisions. This is why I've never truly rebelled. I have too much guilt and seek to people please like it's second hand nature. True rebellion would be to claim a sick day and go on a road trip or to Disneyland or to San Diego. I can honestly tell you I've never done this. Never. Okay... I took part in senior ditch day eight years ago, but that's it.

So, to you people who make me feel bad for my numerous sick days, GET OVER IT. Leave me alone, or better yet, bring me some soup, a magazine, a get well text or some other way to say you believe me. If you don't think I am normally a liar, then why can't you let me stay inside in peace and believe me? Until I can learn to say"that's your problem," you need to learn to respect my decisions.

Please and thank you.

(photo from pintrest).

January: week three

2012-01-20T20:38:00.000-08:00

This week has been so busy that it felt like a five day week and not a four day week! But it was a good one all the same. I got together with great friends, spent time with my sister, have a cold, and got good (and big) news at work. This weekend I am feeling under the weather, so I plan to watch loads of TV and stay cozy.

There was a lot of work news that is too ~~boring~~ ~~political~~ complicated to really share. BUT, the exciting part is that I also received news I got a title addition and a raise. I'm not saying this to brag, but just to say that I learned a good lesson in the process. I learned you really do have to be your own advocate. It took months of prayer, nerves, advice, and research to get the ~~balls~~ courage to ask my boss for the new title and more money. I wrote my first proposal and everything. It was a great growing experience (and reward) to discover that it's okay to take risks and respect yourself enough to ask for what you feel you deserve. Of course, I had to be sure I had done my homework, worked hard, and could defend my request before I could claim it was deserved. I was thankful to get the good news, but I was more proud of myself for being brave, prepared, and so "corporate".

So that's the update from my corner of the world. Happy Friday!

Dear women of TV

2012-01-16T23:12:00.000-08:00

Dear women of The (current) Bachelor,
I am speechless. I am embarrassed. I am sad. You ~~ladies~~ women are being ridiculous. You are being snide, rude, hurtful, and making a spectacle of women every where. I defend this show, and my obsession with it, every week and I am proud to do so, but this season - especially tonight - is leaving me with nothing to defend.
For example, in tonight's episode, you were horrible to Shawntel. You judged a woman based on nothing. Called her bad names, embarrassed her, and were cold. No one deserves to be treated that way, especially when she has done nothing to deserve it. Also, on the group date, you all skied down fake snow in BIKINIS in public. Seriously?
I am disgusted. I don't think any of you should be on the show. I think you might be my least favorite group of women on a season so far.
Also, Ben, I think you should have kept Shawntel for at least one more week. The fact that you two enjoyed one another's company outside of the show is probably a good sign for a long relationship.
Love, Carrie

Tonight added to a topic I've been thinking about all weekend... Last night we all watched the Golden Globes. Today, we all (me included) judge the outfits the women wore. We judged their hair, their make up, and the outfits they bravely chose to wear to a place surrounded by every media type in the country and much of the world. No one woke up this morning to discuss how bad Brad Pitt's hair looked, they woke up to bash Sarah Michelle Gellar's dress.

Award season is praising the movie Bridesmaids, which I have not seen, but they praise it because it "proves women are as funny as men." They (the critics and happy viewers) say women have proven that they too can make fart jokes and have crude humor. But why do we want this? This is not the kind of "equality" I support. Why should anyone make successful movies about farting and crude jokes and lewd behavior? I wish we were better than that.

And now tonight, while watching The Bachelor and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (which I plan to watch later), I am seeing proof that we are going backward as a society and in our view of women. And we, women, need to step up. We need to respect one another, praise one another, encourage one another, and support one another. We need to stop behaving badly for ratings. Stop sexually exploiting yourself by wearing bikinis in the fake snow and cleavage baring dresses. Stop kissing men on the first date. Stop talking shit about other women behind their backs or to their face. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Educate yourself. Mentor a younger woman. Be classy. Say kind words. Wear a turtle neck. Respect yourself.

Please.

2012 Golden Globes Moments

2012-01-16T17:02:00.000-08:00

Worst host: I really can't stand Ricky Gervais

Movie I need to see: The Artist, because it will win the Oscar for Best Picture.

Best dressed: I wasn't obsessed with any of the looks or dresses because I hate red lips, shinny faces, fishtail dresses and leg slits in dresses. But, my favorite was Jessica Alba.

Second runners up: Stacey, Claire, Deborah, Angelina

Biggest fashion disappointments: Lea and Reese (both of whom I always love)

Cutest couple: duet between Felicity Huffman and William H Macy, Jenna Dewan-Tatum and Channing Tatum

Best acceptance speech: Michelle Williams and Claire Danes (because they both mentioned family as the most important)

Funniest moments: George Clooney presenting Moneyball by mocking Brad Pitt's cane (love their bro-mance), Jesse Tyler Ferguson's "whatever" sign as his costar was listed as a nominee for best actor in a comedy show.

Missed opportunity: George should have walked Meryl her glasses up to her, how great would that moment have been?

Best host: George Clooney. Doesn't it always seem like it's his party? I love that about him.

Did you notice: Angie stood up for Meryl's win, Leo always looks like he's genuinely paying attention, Meryl shouted out to Viola, the sweet mother daughter pride between Andie Macdowel and her Miss Golden Globes daughter.

Overall, I thought the show was okay, but let's hope the Oscars are better.

(most photos from People).

Bachelor interrupted

2012-01-09T22:37:00.000-08:00

Okay, so got to be honest, I'm not loving The Bachelor tonight and I blame Downton Abbey. I spent all of Saturday re-watching season one and last night watched (most) of the first episode of season two. Downton Abbey is quality television. The Bachelor - although I love it - is not.

Five thoughts on tonight's Bachelor episode:

1. Ben is really growing on me. He is intelligent and goofy and sweet and in-touch with his emotions.

2. I want Ben to choose Kacie. Hands down. Their first date was adorable, honest, bonding, sweet, and romantic. Definitely the best date (both in sharing and set up) was the best Bachelor date ever. Kacie is a sweetheart and she and Ben seem so comfortable already.

3. Not a fan of Courtney and incredibly disappointed that Ben seems really into her.

4. It never ceases to amaze me that these women are my same age. Can they really feel that love passed them by already?

5. I hate when women who already have a rose spend time with The Bachelor during the cocktail hour(s), they are already safe. Ugh. So not classy. (Yes, I mean Blakeley during tonight's episode).

So, of course I will keep watching The Bachelor, but do me a favor and start watching Downton Abbey! You'll love it. Now I am going to watch some Bravo and see if it heals the bad reality TV taste in my mouth tonight.

Sushi Saturday

2012-01-08T19:32:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I went to a Korean market with my friend Reiko. The only other "ethnic market" I've ever been to is a Mexican market back home for delicious carne asada. I told Reiko it would be an adventure and not to leave me. ha.

The Korean market reminded me of Costco with it's samples, rows and rows of food (none of which I could read, except the fine English print), and lots of people. I tried every sample I could and really enjoyed them all. I saw some interesting things, most interesting was a frozen chicken WITH it's head still attached! Gross. But fascinating.

In true adventure fashion, I got in trouble by the cashier at the Korean market. Sad day. There was a large Hello Kitty display, which I thought was hilariously stereotypical, and I wanted to take a picture. Apparently that is against the rules. The cashier caught me and said no pictures were allowed... and then I lied. Not my proudest moment. I lied and said I didn't take one, but here it is...

Then I apologized to Reiko about lying. Needless to say, we had an adventure.

Later, Reiko and I went to Teri's house to have a TV show marathon of Downton Abbey and made sushi for dinner.

It was wonderful.

Ryan Seacrest is hiring

2012-01-05T17:27:00.000-08:00

Um, why is this not my job?! Too bad I am not an undergrad looking for an internship. This would be my dream job (or at least dream starter job).

Position listed here. If you apply and get it, please tell me everything about it and get me a job there. Thanks.

January: week one

2012-01-05T14:45:00.000-08:00

The first week of January is starting slow and easy, which is hopefully a good sign about 2012. I heard on Twitter the other day (which we know is a very reliable source) that the first 12 days of a year indicates how the whole year will be... Do you believe this? I don't, but if it's true, then this week is a good sign.

I am home today with cramps... great first week back to work by taking a sick day already. Boo! But, I am hopeful to feel less guilty about life in 2012, so I am going to enjoy this metal health day full of resting on a heating pad and taking a pause in my week. So far today is great because there is a Real Housewives of Orange County marathon on Bravo (best channel ever) and the Kindle Fire online support chat guy flirted with me, so that's a good sick day, right?

(there really is a need for a sarcasm font).

I just read my BFF Amy's latest blog post (personal note to come, my Amy) and she wrote about New Year's resolutions. I am typically anti-resolution, but I really have started this year and week with goals, so maybe my mind set is changing. The overall goal with the goals (see, I can be Type A) is that if I don't make them, it is okay. 2012 will be a year of grace on myself. No guilt, no expectations, use the word "no" more often. Be gentle with myself and view each day as a new day to try. Don't add up all the failures and hang them over your own head. Close each day and start the next one with a clean slate. In many ways, it is the way God loves us too. His mercies are new every morning and we have a new opportunity to live life obediently for Him, so why not treat myself the same way He does? That is my 2012 mindset.

So, my resolutions this year are just goals that I will consider each day/week and see what happens (yep, no longer Type A):
- go to church (this goal mindset takes away all the pressure to "find" a church, I need to just show up at some and then take that next step of finding one to call my own... personal pressure will never get me in the door).
- eat less, move more
- think about a doctorate degree
- read more (thanks for the Kindle, Mom!)
- be financially healthy

Now excuse me, that marathon is calling my name...

Bachelor Ben

2012-01-02T22:17:00.000-08:00

First thoughts...

I will never understand why all the rejected girls bawl when they get rejected on the first night. Don't cry until you get rejected when you're in the top 10!

Bad entrances: the girl who said nothing and the girl who walked around the circle, what were they thinking?!

I did like the horse entrance and the Grandma entrance. Great ideas.

What the heck was Ben thinking by keeping Monica the sort of lesbian?! She is a bit crazy... falling for one of the women on the first night and admitting she feels nothing for Ben. Strike one for him.

And blogger Jenna? I told my sister she was drama when we watched her bio and I so badly wanted to like her. Can't wait to see what happens with her this season!

During the whole cocktail party, Ash and I kept commenting that Patti Stanger (the Millionaire Matchmaker) needed to come whip the women into shape and remind them of the two drink maximum!

Here's so another dramatic season of The Bachelor, full of cleavage, cocktails, and crazy!

(photo here).

Happy New Year!

2011-12-31T15:59:00.000-08:00

Goodbye 2011 and hello 2012!

This year was so much better than last year and I hope to say that again another year from now. In 2010, I finished my master's degree, bonded with extended family, had amazing family vacations in Palm Desert and New York, attended 6 out of 9 weddings I was invited to, dealt with two car accidents (one was Mom's and one mine), lost my beloved Lucy, gained a lot of confidence in handling life alone, turned 25 with good friends and in Vegas for the best time ever, and celebrated with the world over Will and Kate's wedding (looking back, I definitely don't regret taking the day off work to watch it). Overall, it has been a good year.

My prayer for 2012 is less struggles for myself and those I love. To find a church by my apartment that I enjoy. To get ~~a raise and~~ more opportunities at work. To read more. To laugh as much as possible, spend lots of time with friends and family, and to give all the glory to God.

May 2012 bring you many blessings. Thanks for sharing 2011 with me.

Christmas: Disneyland, Big Bear, & Newport

2011-12-30T20:03:00.000-08:00

Happy and merry!

I have been enjoying having this whole week off from work and spending time with family and friends. Here is what I've been up to...

Disneyland on the 22nd.

Big Bear for Christmas with the entire Tilton family. Loved seeing snow! I am not used to it and it was incredibly beautiful! I even made a snow angel.

Newport and Balboa with my friends Teri and Teri (we make the Teri, Teri, and Carrie show!).

While there, we saw DIANE KEATON!

I like to say we all watched "We Bought A Zoo" together, even though she didn't exactly sit with us... she was seeing that movie. I literally gasped "Oh my gosh!" out loud when she came out of the restroom right in front of us. Honestly, we heard she was at the movies, and I guessed it was ours, so we didn't leave hoping to see her, and then we stayed until she and her friends and family drove away. Diane was very happy and full of laughter and smiles. People really left her alone, except one guy who asked "are you Diane Keaton?" and she stomped her foot, smiled, and said "ohhh! yes, I am." Later, she and her family/friends discussed where to go for dinner. She drove away in a black Range Rover with her son and his friend/cousin both safely in the back seat. Best moment of the week. I was speechless for a bit!

Rosie O'Donnell, Rick Perry, and the problem with America

2011-12-17T12:37:00.000-08:00

I was recently watching The Rosie Show and she discussed and showed Rick Perry’s Strong video. I had not seen this video. I’ve heard rumblings about Rick Perry and his politics, but in this beginning primary season I have sort of stayed away from the Republican debates until candidates are thinned out closer to polling time. I admit, it is not the smartest political choice on my behalf, but at this time, watching the Republicans get bashed by the liberal media depresses me and makes me feel bad for being a white, middle class, Christian, Republican. If you think this is a bad reason, look no further than Rick Perry’s “Strong” video and its strong You Tube response. It is reportedly the most “disliked” video in You Tube history, which is saying a lot considering some of the lack of talent and lack of taste in uploaded videos these days.

Rick Perry’s video made me uncomfortable for a variety of reasons, most obviously because I am a born-again Christian who is a member of the Republican party (but I do land on the more moderate side, often referring to myself as a liberal Republican, I guess as opposed to a conservative Democrat). I get uncomfortable because I too feel that not only Obama (as Perry states in his video), but Democrats (and “liberals” in general) have continued to escalate a war on religion, specifically, born-again Christians. As a Christian, I do worry that someday I will no longer be allowed to openly attend church, discuss my religion at the workplace, say “under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance, have pastors who can be arrested for refusing to marry a gay couple, and no longer be allowed to say “Merry Christmas” in the month of December. This may sound extreme to some, but it really is not that far-fetched.

What is happening in America today is that as some people are being given more freedom, others are being given less. I will admit that the public voices “representing” Christianity today are voices that I too would like to give less freedom, however, laws and policies and cultural decisions being made to silence all Christian voices are hurting more “normal” people in this country, the general American public who don’t have microphones and podcasts and television platforms. People who don’t bully those who are gay or stand outside military funerals with cruel signs or ban the reading of Harry Potter in schools. These are normal, working class people, who believe in the truth of the Bible and want to attend church every Sunday morning (or Saturday night, like me). These are people you work alongside, grocery shop with, carpool with, and have never heard a hateful, anti-like comment from before. These are the people actually being hurt in the process of shutting down public – albeit disrespectful and ignorant – voices.

People hate what they don’t know. Until someone can have empathy for a different viewpoint, growth and unity can never happen. This is why the public right-wing “Christian” voices can be so hateful toward a gay person struggling to accept him/herself and feel welcomed by society. This is also why SNL can make fun of Christians, because they don’t know the real people attending church down the street. We are an American culture making opinions and laws based on exaggerated stereotypes. This has to stop. It can be stopped by ending hate on all sides – right and left – and seeking to know the other. Do not fear what you don’t understand, seek to learn about it. I am not asking everyone to agree with everyone else. I am not even advocating the “live and let live” philosophy. I am merely suggesting we step out of our box and understand the other. You don’t have to agree and support gay marriage, or even vote for it, to end bullying and hatred. You also don’t have to believe in God to understand that religious people can voice opinions too and that doesn’t make them hateful, ignorant, bigoted opinions.

I hope for a culture where all voices are heard and respected. Where gay couples can get married in a cooperating religious place, but pastors have the right to refuse without fear of hate or arrest. Where a woman can be a feminist and pro-life without feeling like a fraud. Where saying “I’m gay” does not exclude you from an opportunity and saying “I’m Christian” does not make you ignored. This is the kind of America I want to live in and that I believe is what our forefathers and mothers dreamed for us. This is the American vision that I will vote for and hope someday to be reflected in a presidential candidate.

Lucy

2011-12-06T20:55:00.000-08:00

Mom and Dad had to put our beloved Lucy down today. I am so sad. Best dog in the whole world. So blessed to have had her in our lives.

If you want to laugh

2011-12-01T20:59:00.000-08:00

Watch this clip from yesterday's The Chew. I am still dying with laughter about it.

Blustery day

2011-12-01T20:12:00.000-08:00

(the tree that fell outside the entrance to my work).

Wooo! It is windy here! It has been Winnie the Pooh blustery. I swear that last night I thought my windows would bust open and I would fly into the sky. The sound it makes is the worst. I was up half the night listening to it and wondering if it would be as bad on the way to work (since I have a very light and small rental car right now).

Driving to work, the winds had calmed, but there was debris every where. I swerved (slowly) many times to avoid tree branches and many stop lights were out. The local school districts and universities cancelled school, but of course, my institution did not. I am praying they will tomorrow, because tonight is supposed to be worse than last.

The Santa Ana winds have never been this bad. I am not a fan of the Santa Ana winds. To me they mean fire season and dry skin. But I do have one romantic thought about them due to the movie White Oleander (one of my favorite movies). In the movie, the main character says that when she was younger her mother would ask her what she'd pack if the winds changed and fire threatened their house. Her mom told her if she was brave she wouldn't pack anything. That line has always stuck with me.

Accidents happen

2011-11-30T20:24:00.000-08:00

(love Google's picture for today honoring Mark Twain and showing Tom Sawyer)

This morning, while peacefully (and two minutes late) driving to work, I was rear ended at a stop light. I am fine (thank God), no one was hurt. Strangely enough, I wasn't even angry when it happened. Is that weird? I literally just thought "welp, here we go." That was it. I am still fascinated by my own response.

(about the word "welp," this is a weird word that I rarely say aloud - for obvious reasons - but often think in my head)

The second interesting thing about the accident is that my first thoughts were about work. This is either insanely pathetic or qualifies me to get employee of the quarter for an entire year. Thought 1: "welp (there's that word again), there goes my student worker project for today. Thought 2: do you think work will call me to see why I'm so late? Thought 3: How mad will my boss be that I have to skip out today? Thought 4: I am not taking today off. Thought 5: I should call in and tell them I'll be late.

Are any of those thoughts normal when you've been in an accident? I should have thought "thank God, I'm okay" or "I need to call my Dad" or "write down this man's license plate" or even "where is a cute police officer when you need one?" Of course, I did think all of those thoughts later (some much much later... like the hot cop, because he really wasn't needed.. although maybe a handsome guy in uniform is always ~~wanted~~ needed?).

One of my other thoughts was relief that I could go to work and be comforted and helped by some wonderful women who I am so thankful for! My coworker, Cindy, even drove me to the collision repair shop. I am seriously blessed with some of my coworkers.

My great sister drove me to get a rental car. And, my Dad, was an example of what every Dad should be in a daughter's crisis (as I knew he would be... my Dad excels in crisis mode). He helped me figure out what steps to take, let me do it on my own, and at the end of one of our (six) phone conversations ended the call by saying "you're doing great." That alone made the whole day worth it.

Ironically enough, the man who hit me works where I work. I was nervous about driving the rental car, but actually really love it. And, the day really showed me how loved and cared for I am, which makes me so thankful for God's provision.

Now, I am finishing this crazy unexpected day with a muscle relaxer for my back (thanks, Aunt Sue!) and literally laughing until I cry while watching today's The Chew.

The way it feels to be home

2011-11-22T21:27:00.000-08:00

The way I know the roads without really seeing them.

The way I park the car in the street.

The way the curve around the corner makes the corner of my mouth turn up.

The way I breathe when I open the door.

The way the windows glow.

The way the chair holds the pillow.

The way Lucy's tail wags.

The way I stop to pet her before even closing the front door.

The way it feels to hug my parents.

The way nothing has changed.

The way I notice a piece has shifted.

The way my room looks.

The way my bed feels.

The way I curl up to cuddle.

The way I go to bed early.

The way I fall asleep feeling safe.

The way the shower feels foreign.

The way the carpet feels under my feet.

The way the door sounds when it closes.

The way it smells familiar.

The way the sounds surround me.

The way the pictures comfort me.

The way it's exactly the same and completely different.

The way it feels to be home.

Christmas came early

2011-11-21T20:03:00.000-08:00

(Small World decked out)

Christmas seems to be coming early this year. The weather is wonderfully cold, radio stations are already playing constant Christmas music, and Black Friday deals have began to pop up, all before Thanksgiving.

I love it!

I am really feeling the Christmas spirit this year. It is a special time, full of family, scripture, songs, and lights. The best part about Christmas is that every where you visit has something Christmas-focused. My work decorates, Disneyland is covered (I just got a pass for this year!), and stores are decked out. It's wonderful.

Thanksgiving is Thursday and I am looking forward to being home with the family for a long weekend. It's been a while since I've been home. I hope to cook Thanksgiving Part II again this year and the family and I will decorate for Christmas. It will be eventful, to say the least.

Author

2011-11-17T18:52:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I met author Lauren Winner. I recently finished her book "Girl Meets God" for an undergraduate book club I help lead (and really enjoyed it). Lauren was so smart and quirky. She was exactly what I expected and yet so different than I expected. In her book, she is honest and incredibly intelligent and warm. In person, she is even smarter, with a big vocabulary and vast knowledge of many topics.

Listening to her speak reminded me of when I went to meet Anne Lamott. Both are quirky and witty and very smart. Both intimidate me with their intelligence and vocabulary. Both are not very into fashion or make up (but beautiful). It's as if they are so focused on what is in their head (brilliance), that the outer appearance is much less important. I love that about them. Each is a very strong, smart, accomplished woman.

It is fascinating to meet people whose words have affected and changed your own life. They are so normal and so profound that you can't help but analyze their every move and word. It makes me wonder what other writers are like. It also makes me want to be one.

Speaking of being a writer, I wrote a piece for my friend's great website, All Groan Up, and would love for you to check it out here.

CMA Awards

2011-11-09T22:13:00.000-08:00

Currently watching the CMAs.

I love Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood. They have such great chemistry. They are Barbie and Ken of country music.

(photo).

Happy Fall Daylight Time

2011-11-07T20:13:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we ended Daylight Savings Time. What do you call that day? I should Google it. I Google everything, did you know that? It's the Strengths Quest test "learner" and "input" in me. I have become completely obsessed with all things Google lately... Gmail, Google Chrome, its apps, etc. I'm a bit of a tech nerd at work these days.

Anyway, this weekend Fall really came and I welcomed her with open arms! I love Fall and Winter. I don't like to run errands after dark, but I do enjoy driving home from work in the dark to see all the cute houses with their warm lights shining through uncovered windows. I like to imagine a family, making dinner, cozy and warm inside a cute home. I pray for my future and future family when I pass these homes. I think about the cozy homes I was raised in and family dinners.

I rang in Fall with a lazy weekend, listening to the rain, wearing cozy socks, and baked oatmeal cookies (via Pioneer Woman... they were amazing and Ash liked them too!). It was a lovely weekend.

Guilt disease

2011-11-03T21:41:00.000-07:00

I have a disease, it's called GUILT.

(definition found here).

Overview: a condition of the entire self that causes insecurity, tears, anger, depression, and uncertainty. Can affect any age and gender, may be genetic, may also be contagious. Affects most people between ages six and death. Guilt causes frustration in self and others, paranoia, and missed opportunities. May lead to living life out of fear, living life according to others and ignoring oneself.

Symptoms: people pleasing, perfectionism, insecurity, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and frustration.

Diagnosis: Guilt is the product of trying to please others. It is often a symptom of perfectionists and those trying to keep people happy. It occurs when a person stops listening to themselves and what they want and starts listening to others and their own "could's, would's, should's." It also happens when a person feels there is no right answer, or easy decision, to be made.

Treatment: Prayer. Listening to one's self. Learning to differentiate between real and false interpretations of situations. Talking to trusted friends or counselors. Letting go.

Managing: Pro and con lists may help identify decision-making factors. Sleep always helps relieve pressure and stress, which calms guilt. Asking for advice and listening to your intuition. People who learn to manage guilt lead much healthier and happier lives.

(a fun WebMD-like post because I am fueled by guilt today).

Morning TV

2011-11-02T20:46:00.000-07:00

As you well know, I love TV. I've had the flu since Monday and spent yesterday and Monday home from work, reading, and watching TV. I re-discovered some lovely shows that I began to really like while in NYC because my Mom and I had very lazy mornings.

So, what am I watching?

Access Hollywood Live (NBC) - it might be my favorite morning show right now. Billy and Kit have a very fun chemistry and they are hilarious. I also think they are two of the most down to earth TV hosts.

Today Show with Kathie Lee and Hoda (NBC) - I really like Hoda. Kathie Lee and Hoda are too funny and I like hearing about their personal lives and weekend activities. Plus, they drink booze before noon!

The Chew (ABC) - I just discovered this how this week. I really didn't think I'd like it, but I do! It's talk show meets food network, what could be better? Through this show, I've been "introduced" to Daphne Oz (Dr. Oz's daughter). She is adorable. She's also my age, which gives me a bit of jealous, panic, and insecurity about my own life.

That's the wrap up! I still tune into The View and Regis and Kelly, but my interest in both is a bit fickle depending on the celebrity. But these other three, I tune in for the morning talk, not just celebrities.

This whole week has led to a new dream job of being a TV morning show cohost. I'd get to interview celebrities and talk about my weekends, what could be better?

Cookies and Potatoes

2011-10-30T20:32:00.000-07:00

I spent most of today in the kitchen. I've had the desire to cook/bake this weekend, so today I decided that is what I'd do. Three stores, new bowls, new containers, buying every baking ingredient, and $80 later, I was ready. I set up my laptop in the kitchen to read the recipes and played Christmas music!

I baked Peanut Butter Oatmeal White Chocolate Chip cookies first. They turned out well, but I don't love the taste of them. Apparently, I am not a fan of butterscotch (I put butterscotch chips in because I couldn't find peanut butter ones), either that or I don't like cookies who are too sweet, something about brown sugar maybe? I don't know. I am new to all of this. I also decided I wanted them with more oatmeal. The cookie dough wasn't amazing and that was my first sign that I wasn't wild about the cookies. So, my new philosophy is that if you don't like the cookie dough, you won't like the cookie.

(movie quote break: "he wants a woman who's not afraid of his dark chocolate layer")

Next, I made Hasselback Potatoes. It is basically just a fancy looking version of a baked potato. they have been all over Pinterest, so I checked it out. They were pretty good. I used a ton of butter and kosher salt to eat them. I also didn't bake them long enough. I would make these again and ~~be a grown up~~ pair them with some kind of steak or something.

The good news about both baked/cooked items: they passed the taste test of my sister! It is always a good sign when you're not the only one who likes what you made (because I am biased to my own food... and my worst critic).

Today was yet another day of attempting things that scare/intimidate me.

(all recipes originally found on this amazing blog).

Small steps

2011-10-29T22:05:00.000-07:00

People say you should do one thing a day that scares you. For a person with severe anxiety and fear, sometimes just an average day is a day facing fears. Other times, I can do something a little more brave.

Lately, I feel I've been growing stronger in trying to be brave. There are situations that I have to face head on and be smart about them, by trying something new and breaking my patterns. Patterns are comfortable, but not always helpful or beneficial.

Small steps toward facing fears or breaking patterns are all that is needed. I don't think progress is made through giant leaps. I believe one foot in front of the other, only looking at the path ahead, is when real progress is made.

It is starting to get dark early. It is the one draw back to my favorite seasons (Fall and Winter). As soon as it gets dark I tend to think only bad things happen. I suddenly hate going to run errands after work because it's dark, or meeting friends for dinner because it's dark, and I always feel like I have to go to bed earlier because it's dark. None of these things need to be true. Even when it's dark, it's only 7pm. EARLY.

So, to avoid my pattern of being afraid of the dark, I went to the grocery store at 7:20 tonight. It is only on the next corner (baby steps), but it seemed liked a big deal to me.

Puppy love

2011-10-29T16:55:00.000-07:00

I got some sad news today. My family and I have to put our beloved dog, Lucy, down. Not today or tomorrow, maybe not even soon, but it is our best option for her benefit. I hate it. I've cried about it. I've been mad. I've tried to rationalize it, but it's just sad. But, it has to be done and is probably for the best. Lucy is nearly completely deaf, she has cataracts and will lose her sight completely, but we don't know when, however, she hasn't lost it yet. She has little trembles, which are due to weak back legs, due to losing muscle tone. And, she is 13 years old, which is pretty old for a dog (about 90 human years old).

Lucy is the sweetest dog in the whole world. Nearly everyone who has ever met her thinks the same thing. It's not just me. I grew up afraid of animals. I was chased by dogs as a kid and never really liked them (or any animal) in the first place. My family always thought about getting a dog but I always vetoed it. But then, one day my mom called our house and left a message (the days before cell phones) for Dad, Ash, and I to come to a grocery store and see some puppies. We went and I dreaded it because I knew I would have to say no again and be the bad guy. We got there, saw some cute puppies, and then... crazily enough... I sat down in the pen and held Lucy. She was so sweet and calm. I said yes. The people we adopted her from said to give her a clothing item that smelled like us and so we gave her my sweatshirt. Lucy drove home in my lap.

I hid from her for the next six months. It was a process of getting over my fear of dogs. Over the years, I have become less afraid of them.

Lucy has quite possibly been the best gift our family has ever known. She is sweet, good natured, gentle, loyal, and even trained her own self to poo in the hill so we didn't have to pick it up. She is not a huge fan of walks, unless our pet sitter is taking her, and she isn't great at fetch, although she is excellent at tearing apart tennis balls. She loves to do yard work with Dad, eat popcorn and Sunday breakfast and pizza crust. She loves to lay by the fireplace. It takes her a good 24 hours to eat when Dad is gone on a business trip. He is her favorite and she is his favorite. Lucy lays in front of my sister's door every morning when she's home. Lucy sits by Mom when she sews. She lets me kiss her head and tell her I love her several times a day.

Saying goodbye to Lucy will be very difficult. I am most afraid of how Dad will react. They are pals like I have never seen before and life apart will take some major adjustment. I don't know what to do when my Dad cries, because it rarely happens. Mom, Ash, and I on the other hand cry pretty regularly (okay, I cry the most). I know many people have lost pets and I know several have had to make the difficult decision of putting them down. Your prayers are appreciated. I hate goodbyes and I really hate that Lucy can't talk and tell us she loves us. I am a big believer in hearing "I love you."

I don't know when we're putting Lucy down, but definitely by the beginning of next year, if not before then. We are thinking we'd like to have her around for Christmas, but we'll see.

I will miss Lucy more than words can say.

Post edit: Many were confused by this post... Lucy is still alive, but the decision to put her down is one that we will make over the next few weeks/months.

On teaching

2011-10-25T21:04:00.000-07:00

Today I presented my master's capstone project about women in leadership to an undergraduate leadership class. This is the second semester I've had this opportunity. One of my former professors asked me (God bless him). I really appreciate the opportunity and I love talking about a subject I love.

The experience is always a bit nerve wracking, intimidating, and exhilarating. I am learning to be a bit more comfortable and I've learned that I much prefer answering questions and discussing than just presenting (which is exactly what kind of student I am). Both times I've talks to the class there is always one token guy who agrees with what I am saying and asks real questions and starts a dialogue I would love to continue. There's also a token girl, both times, who looks at me and asks about the idea that women were created by God to be helpers and not leaders. It is an honest question, so I appreciate and respect it. Both times, there are those students who have glazed over eyes and are probably thinking about how ridiculous it is that they are listening to me speak. It is a fascinating dynamic.

And, I think I love it.

I love trying to teach these students about something that matters. I love trying to start dialogues. I love that when I leave I feel invested in them and responsible for their growth. I also love talking about women in leadership and gender and organizational ethics.

I just love academia. There really is no denying that fact.

Young and beautiful

2011-10-23T21:54:00.000-07:00

I love old pictures. Love them. Especially ones of my parents and their family and friends. Recently, I dug some up at a friend's BBQ after hearing hilarious stories and dying to see proof that my parents were once young (kidding, Mom, kidding). I showed them to my sister tonight and realized that the pictures below are of the same decade of my parents' lives that I am currently navigating. Makes me wonder about the future and which friends I will still know at that time.

My mom and Scott.

Nancy and Scott - love this picture.

My adorable parents.

LOVE this picture of my parents. Just love it. So cute.

New York City!

2011-10-18T21:39:00.000-07:00

I would have blogged about my lovely trip to NYC sooner, but I took way too many pictures and then had to choose a small number for this blog!

It was a great trip. I wasn't as sad to leave this time, but still considered moving there. I ~~mostly~~ enjoyed spending time with my parents and loved being able to see other loved ones while visiting!

Here is some of what I did...

Survived the flight.

Spent the first day with my cousins Katie and Megan.

Ate and shopped at Eataly... It was amazing. Definitely the best meal of the whole trip.

Spent time with my cousin, Julie, at Eataly.

Went to Rockefeller Center and they were having a special USA fire fighter exhibit.

Visited St. Thomas and St. Patrick's cathedrals. These pictures are from St. Thomas. I took tons. It was beautiful. The statue of Mary and Jesus was amazing and so moving. I loved it.

Ate at the Central Park Boathouse. Really loved being there.

Visited my favorite ~~future~~ house. Love this home so much. I see it nearly every time I visit. Don't you love the red door? I try to imagine what it must look like inside.

Visited Times Square. It really has a magic all its own apart from the City in general. My Dad and I went to the M&M store, which feels more like a small amusement park. It was really cool.

Looked out the window of our hotel... often.

Stalked the people in the offices across the street. Imagined what they do and how it would be to live in the City.

The weather was three of the four seasons while we were there. It was 85 the first two days and then 75 and then rainy and high 60's. This picture is of how bright it was one night because the lights of the tall buildings were reflecting off the clouds and illuminated the night. It was amazing.

I went to see The Ides of March, which was playing across the street, at the same theater where the premier was held (meaning George Clooney and I have stood in the same place... haha). I gave the movie a 6.5 out of 10, but Ryan Gosling was incredible. He makes the movie.

Met up for lunch with my friend, Anna. we've been friends since we were in junior high and it was great to get to see one another since we've lived in separate states for about ten years.

I explored Central Park for a couple hours and took nearly 100 pictures. It is still my favorite place in the whole city. It is beautiful and peaceful and unique. While I was there, I saw joggers, tourists, two little kids racing around, a few people meeting for an art class, and there was a man playing the saxophone. It was a wonderful end to my trip.

New York, NY

2011-10-13T11:21:00.000-07:00

Hello from the East Coast! I am in New York City this week and loving it! Today it is damp and cloudy, but half the week was 80 degrees and sunny. I love that in one week I can experience seasons, considering it is about 100 degrees back home.

I've been busy everyday, but taken lovely slow mornings. I've also been able to see my three cousins and a good friend of mine. It's also been nice spending time with my parents. Been eating amazing food and got to see Central Park yesterday, which is still my favorite place in the city! Have not spotted any celebrities yet, but I am keeping my eyes open.

Will update you when I get home and tell you all about my trip. I have plenty of pictures to post too!

Prayers for a safe flight.

Emily's wedding

2011-10-03T22:22:00.000-07:00

My good friend and (recently former) roommate, Emily, got married this weekend. It was so surreal. Emily and I have been friends for over 7 years and have been roommates for 4 of those years. She has been my family in LA. We've grown and changed and bonded through personal trials, school, roommates, figuring out setting up utilities, family challenges, and lots of laughter. For many years, Emily was the person I talked to about singleness the most. She is a strong woman of God and has been a great support to me over the years.

Watching her marry George, the love of her life, was nothing short of wonderful. I was so proud to stand up with them. They have set an amazing example of a relationship centered around God, focused on purity, and full of selflessness. I have loved being a part of their love story (I sort of introduced them and supported George in asking Em out).

The wedding was beautiful. They got married at the Point Loma naval base and you could literally hear the ocean waves next to us. I had a great time with the other bridesmaids and loved spending time with Em's niece and baby nephew. It was also great to see good friends I haven't seen in a while.

The whole day was just lovely and low key, much like George and Em.

(top photo "borrowed" from friends on facebook).

Disneyland with family

2011-10-03T22:05:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago I met my Texas family at Disneyland. It was great to finally meet all the babies! You know me and my love of babies.

Biggest bummer of the day was that I missed the Jessica Alba sighting!

Bangs

2011-10-03T21:35:00.000-07:00

Well, I did it, I got my bangs back! Funny how I had them for so long, yet now that they're back I don't recognize myself. Ironically, I didn't recognize myself without them also. I'm glad their back.

three's company

2011-09-26T22:54:00.000-07:00

reading
break from TV

emotions
needing to release

crying
too much stress

sad
change is unavoidable

calls
with no one

solitude
craving alone time

hopeful
white picket fence

excited
transition as celebration

social
friends are coming

weekend
please come sooner

Emmy's

2011-09-21T20:31:00.000-07:00

I am hoping this post is better late than never, but it seems to me that the moment has passed. However, for my loyal readers (shout out to Michaela and Sonya), here is my Emmy rundown...

Favorite moment: the fake pageant with the nominees for best actress in a comedy. Loved that Amy Poehler led the group in going on stage. It was so unexpected and hilarious. I loved that Melissa McCarthy won as well! Loved her in Gilmore Girls and glad to see her getting some recognition.

Favorite win: Downton Abbey! I was so glad to see a Masterpiece theater selection win for so many movie/miniseries categories. Almost gives me more faith in ~~humanity~~ Hollywood that PBS can win over HBO (it's all very David and Goliath). Hope to see more of that (the show and the win). If you haven't seen Downton Abbey and you like period pieces, you need to rent it!

Favorite dresses: I enjoyed seeing all the high necks and cap sleeves this year! I also loved all the red.

As usual, Lea Michele was my favorite, because I do look to her as a fashion icon.

Kate Winslet also rocked the red.

And, strangely enough, I really like Amy Poehler's dress too (but for me, in a different color).

As well as Dianna Argon’s (from Glee).

And, although I didn't necessarily notice their fashion, the Charlie's Angles actresses were gorgeous and definitely having them walk the red carpet together was great marketing (yes, I am taping that tomorrow).

Favorite speeches: None really stood out that much for me, but I am always glad to listen to speeches by Julianna Margulies and Kate Winslet. They are so classy and well-educated. I am always impressed by them as women.

Favorite celebrities: Claire Danes. Kate Winslet. Lea Michele. Katie Holmes. Love when movie actors grace the Emmy’s.

(photos).

The view from right here

2011-09-17T22:55:00.000-07:00

The best part about being twenty-something, unmarried, no kids, and living on one's own is that a person can sleep in as long as possible on a Saturday morning. For example, my body does not wake me up until 11:30. Yes, I wake up at 6ish and remind myself it is not a work day and then I sleep until 11:30. It is wonderful. Doesn't matter if I go to bed at 9pm or 2am the night before.

I was thinking about that benefit today. My roommate is busy with pre-wedding stuff and my sister is busy with college stuff and I found ways to think about the positives of my current life stage. Sleeping in is a big one. The next big one? Doing absolutely nothing if you feel like it. I can spend an entire Saturday watching movies or browsing Barnes and Noble or hanging with friends. No need to worry about the grocery store or cleaning the house or doing homework. I can do those chores during the week and spend the weekend doing nothing.

We all have stages in life. There is a season for all things. My sister is in a season of college, which I see everyday at work. My roommate's season is changing as she is now stepping into being a wife and starting a new life together. My parents have been in an "empty nest" season as their kids have moved out (for the most part). And I am in a season of settled contentment. I am not in a season of waiting, but many months ago I may have said that and even now I think some would say that of me. They would say I am in a holding pattern in my life. I know for other people my age who are post-college and in jobs that are not their passion and unmarried, they are waiting for their next chapter. But you know what? As of this moment, I have realized that is not me, and it hasn't been for months.

The great thing about writing out your life is that you look back and see where you were at a certain time. You re-live the emotions and recall the moments and remember the seasons. So let this entry show, that I am in a season of non-waiting, of contentment, of exploring, and of becoming strong, independent, and capable. I have a career. It just sort of crept up on me, but yes, I am in a career. I am a career woman. I have gathered an urban family around me of people who are so wonderful that I wish to be more like them. I buy my own Raid and keep a screw driver close (the tool, not the drink), and I am learning to cook. I am settling into my season... my life.

I am incredibly thankful for all my seasons in life and I have been blessed to have many good ones. A good childhood, an amazing high school season, a challenging college season, a growing post-college season, and now this one. I look forward to many more seasons and am hopeful that the next one includes falling in love and being loved in return, followed by one of midnight feedings, followed by one full of soccer games and dance classes and Sunday family dinners.

But for now, I am here, and the view is pretty good from where I sit.

Hair today

2011-09-13T21:27:00.000-07:00

I am embarrassed to write this blog post, because I so don't like being this girl. But, here is a hair post... I am done with my hair. I miss my bangs. I hate wondering if my hair is still styled throughout the day. I hate waiting for the wind to pass.

I try to be very low maintenance with my hair and I have been looking at hairstyles all week and reading about the right styles for face shape and weight of person and type of hair.

This was me with bangs... I don't want them like this where it is blunt and straight with no real style.

This is me now... starts out great in the morning and then turns in to the other...

These are my current inspirations...

It started with this gorgeous style

I want this length: (Amanda Peet on the far right)

Love these stylish bangs

Still want to be able to pull my hair in a ponytail

I think I want this

We'll see what I decide... ideas?

(photos plastered on pinterest)

Checking in

2011-09-09T20:57:00.000-07:00

Dear friends,

Been reading blogs and sitting cozy on this Friday night and wanted to write and say hello, but don't really have a purpose for writing at all. Since we are friends, I will simply write as I would if mailing a letter to one of my besties.

Life is good. My sister is moving back to the apartment soon. My roommate, Emily, is getting married in a few weeks, and the summer is over (even though the heat is just beginning). This may have been my best summer since the summer after my freshman year in college. I didn't even get depressed that it was August. Love having busy summers.

This week brought lessons and opportunities. I am seeing potential endeavors begin to open up about pursuing my interest in women's issues. I've been thinking that maybe the area I am most interested in is women in corporate America. The lessons I've learn this week are to set boundaries to keep my sanity and also the ask myself "what would a man do/think," not because they are smarter or better, but because they are higher in the corporate ladder at my place of work and I want to get there too.

My weekend wishes are quality time with my parents, pet my precious pup, and celebrate with Emily at her wedding shower on Sunday.

Have a lovely weekend, friends!

(this photo makes me happy)

Laboring on Labor Day

2011-09-05T11:52:00.000-07:00

Did you see the sky this morning? It was gorgeous. Partly blue and clear and partly cloudy with rain. I love when the sun shines behind the clouds.

What? You didn't see it? You were asleep? Today is a federal holiday? Hmmm... That explains why there were no cars on the streets. Even more empty than the day before Thanksgiving.

Well, sorry to wake you. Please go back to your cozy bed. But if you need me I won't be at a BBQ or the beach or sitting in my sweatpants watching a Real Housewives marathon on Bravo. I'll be at my desk, laboring on Labor Day.

(PS I promise to be happier tomorrow. "It's not personal, it's business.").

(photo via pinterest... as usual of late).

Little Women

2011-09-04T20:16:00.000-07:00

This weekend I watched the 1949 version of "Little Women" (starring the wonderful pair of Peter Lawford and June Allyson) and I realized why I turned out the way I am! My mom raised my sister and I on Little Women (among other great movies). We loved both versions growing up and still watch the newer one often.

The movie is so me! Topics of women's rights, closeness of family, and writing. I am more like Jo then I realized. I used to think I was Beth (or at least wished to be like her) and then thought maybe I was Meg, the wise oldest daughter who marries the smart Mr. Brook. But, I am Jo, which is a good thing. She is smart and independent, cares about equality, and just wants to keep her family close. I can relate to all of these things.

Every time I watch the movie it breaks my heart that Laurie and Jo don't end up together. You know how some people say that every time they watch a movie or read a book they still hope for a different ending? That is me every time I watch Little Women. It breaks my heart that Laurie marries Amy (my least favorite sister) and doesn't just pine after Jo for his whole life. Not to mention, how could Amy trust that Laurie didn't still love Jo? I've always wondered that too.

Watch it. It's wonderful.

(photos found through pinterest).

August 26

2011-09-02T17:57:00.000-07:00

Was the day this post was meant to be published... forgive that it's late...

What does women's equality mean to me?

Since today marks the 91st anniversary of the 19th Amendment of a woman's right to vote and also national Women's Equality Day, I'm asking myself this question: what does women's equality mean to me?

It is a passion that guides my life, but can I give a short and sweet answer? Can you?
To me, equality for women involves all facets of life: cultural, domestic, political, social, sexual, gender, and religious.

Women's equality means that...

• freedom of stereotypes and judgements (no more blanket statements)
• no more gender specific insults (from bad names to even "you play ball like a girl" or "Yo' momma jokes")
• women are just as good at math and science as boys are, and to have that truth reflected in the way schools teach our children
• women and men make the same amount of money for doing the same amount of work
• men and women will have equal job promotions and hiring opportunities
• to be a stay at home Dad is just as respected, and normal, as being a stay at home Mom
• women will no longer feel the need to use their body and sexuality to influence others and get what they want
• media will stop portraying images of women in very little clothing
• "guy movies" stop making sport of objectifying women
• commercials for house cleaning items will no longer feature females as the "home-maker"/house-cleaner
• female sports are just as popular as males sports
• an end to the "mommy wars"
• better childcare and maternity/paternity leaves

To sum it up, to me, women's equality means that being a woman is not an insult or "less than." It means men and women are seen as the same in abilities and intelligence, and that a difference in strengths, habits, or tendencies is a reflection of individuality and not gender-specific. I also think women's equality means freedom for men to be their authentic selves as well, and not a cultural definition of "macho," meaning, men can be emotional, good parents, and even passive. It means women are provided the same opportunities, expectations, and rewards as men are in all aspects of life and that women are no longer considered an after thought (or second class citizens).

I am beyond thankful that I live in a country where I have rights and opportunities in-spite of my gender, I just hope someday future female generations will have rights and opportunities because of their gender.

Generations

2011-08-21T12:11:00.000-07:00

My cousin, Vanessa, recently posted a picture of her, her sisters, and their adorable children. It reminded me of picture of our moms and us as babies.

The 80's:

Aunt Sue holding Whitney, Nana holding Natalie, Aunt Karen holding Joseph, and my mom holding me. Sue is mom to Vanessa (who is not pictured), Natalie, and Whitney. Karen is mom to Joe. After this picture was taken we also had Stephanie (to Karen) and Ashley (my sister).

(We also added a whole other set of lovely cousins and aunt, but that's a different happy story...)

Today:

Natalie holding new baby Jack, Whitney holding Annabelle and Ainsley, and Vanessa holding Quinn.

I love that this picture is so similar to the one of our moms. It's exciting to have a new generation of babies in the family. I'm glad that these little baby cousins will get to grow up living close to one another. Somedays I wish we all had all grown up that way.

Can't wait to see what happens with all of us cousins and our future kids.

(cousin photo taken from Vanessa's blog).

Reminders

2011-08-17T20:29:00.000-07:00

Things I reminded myself of today:

1. i can choose to be positive

2. everything happens for a reason

3. don't watch the news

4. let go of jealousy

5. count my blessings

(photo from pinterest)

Lake view

2011-08-16T21:09:00.000-07:00

The view my sister is looking at right now...

I really hope it doesn't distract her from returning home!

Tumbled

2011-08-16T20:21:00.000-07:00

Today I tumbled into Tumblr. I am obsessed. I spent two hours scouring this site.

It is everything I want to be (design and fashion-wise) and some of what I am. Love it! This site led me to a few others, which I also enjoyed. I now have some more websites to add to my blog obsession.

Dear Amy: Nikki's wedding

2011-08-08T21:29:00.000-07:00

Dear Amy,

Our lovely Nikki got married this weekend. It makes so much sense and seems so surreal all at the same time. Know what I mean?

This weekend was not the same without you. I missed you and we all talked about how you should have been there!

So, the highlights... The Bachelorette party was a ton of fun! I really thought I wouldn't like it, because you know me and public embarrassment, but it was great. A large group of us went to a fun wine bar that is Alice in Wonderland themed and then on to the Shout House (a crazy piano bar), followed by dancing at Whiskey Girl (all three in the Gaslamp).

At the wine bar, Ashley and I met a hilarious drunk woman in the bathroom. She was eating dinner upstairs at The Melting Pot (the two places share a bathroom) and she was giving all this "free advice" about marriage and growing up. Then, she wanted to meet Nikki and tell her congratulations. She was a hoot! And, she probably doesn't remember it at all. haha. As random as it sounds, meeting Kim was probably one of the highlights of the night for me.

The Shout House was super fun. I actually loved it because you know me and music and singing... plus, one of the piano players was pretty cute. ;) Nikki had to do a few embarrassing things on stage, which of course we have many videos of! One thing involved getting on all fours on top of a piano and "woof-ing" like a dog. Yes, it was as crazy as it sounds. Then we went dancing after a couple of the girls convinced the bouncer to let us skip the line and come right in. However, some of us - meaning me and a couple others - are getting old and bailed after about 45 minutes to go back to the hotel room. Friday involved mani/pedi's at a spa in Encinitas, which was a really cool place. Then the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.

The big day was full of make up and hair. The make up lady was hilarious and I adored my hair. A woman I don't know came up to me at the wedding and asked to take a picture of it. :) The dresses Michael's mom, Tammy, made were awesome and we all loved them. Amy, from the dance studio, performed the marriage ceremony, which was very sweet since she's been around for their whole love story.

Michael cried the moment he saw Nikki and then continued through out the ceremony. It was incredibly sweet. You could totally see how much he loves her. All the bridesmaids got a bit choked up (some way more than others). The reception was a lot of fun. I loved that Nikki arranged the bridal party to sit with their friends and not at a bridal table. I think all wedding receptions should let friends sit with friends. I sat with Anna and her bf, Charlie, and Chris, Sidney, Ashley and her Chris (with a few other wedding party guests). We had a good time and laughed a lot.

In the end, I loved spending time with our friends at the reception. I was glad to be in Nikki's wedding. I met some really great women, which was a nice surprise for the weekend. But I think my favorite "Nikki wedding weekend moment" was in SD before the Bachelorette party started and Nikki joined Ash, Sid, and I in our room. It was only for about 20 minutes, but for that short time it was just us, ya know? Just four good friends, who have known each other for a very long time, hanging out for a bit. I wished there could have been more of that this weekend.

Gosh, this post is WAY too long! I mean, other than you, who reading this blog really cares at this point? So, I will tell you more during our phone date.

Love,
Carrie

Enchanted

2011-07-29T21:15:00.000-07:00

Some songs describe feelings so well.

Obsessed with Taylor's whole album, but this song has been on repeat in my head over the last two days.

Love what story it represents in my mind.

Two weeks of weddings

2011-07-24T21:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to the beautiful wedding of my friend, Camry. She was definitely one of the most gorgeous brides I've ever seen! Her wedding gown looked amazing on her and her hair was perfect, along with her birdcage veil (love those). The wedding was in a great location that I've always wanted to visit and I was able to sit at a table full of friends from work.

Next weekend I have my friend, Kelle's, bachelorette party. I had to miss her wedding shower yesterday and can't make it to her wedding, so I am really looking forward to celebrating with her for at least one night.

And in two weeks, I will be celebrating my bestie, Nikki's, wedding. I can't wait! My sister and I are both bridesmaids and my parents are invited, so it will be great to be there as a family. It will also be a mini-reunion of high school friends, which I am totally looking forward to.

The good news about my crazy summer of weddings is that I love weddings. I love to see what decisions the bride makes, love to watch the couples' first dance and the father-daughter dance, love to see each wedding's theme, and love to see the joy of each couple.

(photo posted to my pinterest wedding board and found here).

Needed: Big Brother Intervention

2011-07-20T20:24:00.000-07:00

My name is Carrie and I am addicted to Big Brother.

I need an intervention.

On Sunday, I caved and ordered Showtime 2 just so I could watch Big Brother After Dark, which is three hours every night. I also read live feeds of others who watch the houseguests on CBS all day. Crazy, I tell you. There must be something wrong with me when I just want to sit and watch people live in a house. They're not even that interesting. It's a bit boring. But, I am obsessed.

I've hit a new reality TV low.

(photo from here).

Weekend edition

2011-07-18T21:01:00.000-07:00

This weekend was really great. My sister came up for the weekend, which I was SO happy about! I got off at noon on Friday and spent the afternoon watching TV and eating junk food with my sister. It was great to just veg and chill.

Saturday we spent the morning by the pool with my friends Dana, Marci, Sarah, and Sarah's daughter, Amelia. It was a perfect summer day. Girl talk, tanning, and grabbing burgers before saying goodbye. That night Ash and I went to Sarah's for dinner and to have a Big Brother marathon of Big Brother After Dark on Showtime 2. I ran around and hung out with Amelia a lot and was completely exhausted! I loved every minute of it.

Sunday, Ashley and I had lunch and watched TV and then she headed home. We watched the Diane Sawyer interview of Jaycee Dugard. It breaks my heart, but is an amazing story. Jaycee's journey reminded me that the Lord will never give us more than we can handle. I am comforted by this.

Later that night, I said goodbye to my sister, and my roommate, Emily, and friend, Ilise, came home. The three of us hung out and watched "Step Up," the embarrassing dance movie of our time as roommates (this is my favorite scene). To this day, I still drool over Channing Tatum in that movie. We all kind of do.

It was great to spend the whole weekend with friends!

Just for the record...

2011-07-13T20:03:00.000-07:00

I am having a MUCH better week than last week.

I've also been thinking about how blessed I am with the friends in my life. My friends are really fantastic. They give great advice, are good listeners, very kind, thoughtful, encouraging, and make me laugh to the point of tears.

This week I've also been thinking so much about answered payers and God's grace. God is so good. He provides when it's needed. He listens. He answers prayers. His timing is perfect. Of course, in many ways, this is always true, but in the life of a friend I was reminded of this today. Love God moments.

Hope this week is going well for you too!

The week that was.

2011-07-10T19:13:00.000-07:00

Okay, so my last post mentioned about the crappy week I was having... and it got worse...

First came the flies.

Then the heat (I know Texas family, it wasn't as bad as your heat).

Come Thursday my car was covered in rain drops of tree sap. By covered, I mean drops on the front, sides, and back, including windows. I read online about ways to clean them and used wet fabric softener sheets and rubbing alcohol. Then a drive through car wash.

Then came a plugged ear.

Home again to watch over this sweet little dog.

Then a trip to the urgent care... by myself... to get my ears flushed out and discover I have an ear infection.

(sigh).

The great news? Today is the start of a new week full of new opportunities and good things. And, my family is back from vacation!

Here's to a new week!

Tired of being brave

2011-07-06T21:00:00.000-07:00

I wrote on my Facebook wall tonight that I am tired of being brave.

I am. It's exhausting. 100%, completely and totally exhausting. Sometimes it's exhilarating and fun and exciting, but other times it is depressing, rough, and takes a lot of courage.

When I was little I would pray for courage every night before I went to sleep. Maybe I should start that again.

It started over the weekend. Ironically, celebrating Independence Day made me think about being independent and all it consists of at times. I was alone over the weekend at my parent's house with my adorable, but very old, dog, Lucy. Being alone is always an exercise of being brave for me. Especially at night. I'm sure you can relate.

Then I had this massive fly problem. Don't laugh. They were really big flies. And they seemed to be everywhere, even after I killed one, another would show up. I killed/trapped nine before I left. It took home-made remedies (thanks, Ilise) and a LOT of Raid spray. Nearly the whole can. Plus, I had to kill a spider. Then tonight, at my apartment, I had to kill some other bug. I hate summer for it's heat and for bringing out the bugs.

I get really grumpy when I'm too warm.

I am also being brave in a few things at work (including lots of important meetings/decisions without much support). There are a few other things too that require risk-taking and prayer.

I don't know. Sounds like I'm whining about being a grown up... maybe I am. But today, that's how I feel. Tired of being brave and just want to be rescued.

I need to follow my own example and just pray for courage to be brave and grown up. Why did we learn all the most important lessons in life before we were ten-years-old? Relieved to still be a child of God, no matter how many times I try to be a grown up and do life on my own.

P.S. If you believe in prayer, please pray for an opportunity that I am not able to talk about on my blog, but want prayer for. Nothing to be worried about, just a possible opportunity, but I know prayer leads to miracles. :)

(photos found through Pinterest).

First day of July

2011-07-01T11:46:00.000-07:00

This weekend...

read

BBQ burgers

friends

see my little Lu (the best dog in the whole world)

ocean

tan in the backyard

Facebook with my extended family

write

plan

pray for a new opportunity

sleep in

watch TV

maybe rent a movie (but which one?)

be thankful for my freedoms.

enjoy being off on Monday for the 4th

Happy holiday weekend!

My weekend: weddings, reunions, and a bench

2011-06-27T20:56:00.000-07:00

I had a near-perfect weekend. Loved it. Full of quality family time and catching up with friends.

(The lovely coworker bunch).

Friday night I went to my coworker, Teri's, daughter's wedding. It was so beautiful. The bride was gorgeous, the toasts were heartfelt, God was the focus, and the location was amazing. Definitely would love to get married there someday. I had a great time with my coworker friends! We almost didn't make it on time because the car broke down along the way and we had to beg people to come pick us up, but we made it just in time and am so glad we did. It was wonderful to spend time laughing with my coworkers! They are very special women.

(My bench).

Saturday was full of beauty appointments and family time, as well as some major shopping (hello new shoes and make up). My mom and I went to lunch together between appointments and walked around downtown Escondido. We meandered into an antique store and I fell in love... with a red bench. It is adorable! Perfect for my bedroom at my apartment. I bought it on the spot. Of course, it wouldn't fit in the car and my Dad had to take me back the next day to pick it up, but it's mine and will look great in my room. Can't wait to get it there!

(Old school photo of the teachers and students from about 2005).

Sunday brought a reunion with four of my favorite high school teachers: Ms. Kanawi, Ms. Gerent, Ms. Le, and Ms. Kawano. I love those four women so much! It was amazing to catch up and I wish we had more time together. Then three of us went to see a play, which an old friend from high school was in and my good friend, Sam, works at the theater. It was great to see him as well! Seeing the four teacher friends brought back a ton of memories and reminded me of how amazing my high school experience was for me. In fact, after that mini-reunion I had missed calls and text messages from other high school friends... not many people can say that about their high school experience when they're 25. It was a very special time in my life and I am blessed to still get to see the people who have meant so much to me.

It was a fantastic weekend, ending with backyard BBQ with my parents before heading back up north to my apartment and "real life."

summer solstice

2011-06-21T21:16:00.000-07:00

so summer and dreamy

Happy first day of summer. Not my favorite season (it's actually my least favorite). But this summer will be very busy...

Nikki's wedding

Emily's wedding

Attending at least three other weddings

Many trips home to SD

Half day Fridays in July

Seeing former friends

Busy work time

Reality TV

Tanning

Bachelorette parties

Driving

Summer, for not being my favorite season, is often my busiest.

(photo from Amy and then added to my pinterest).

Top Ten: Things my Dad taught me

2011-06-19T19:41:00.000-07:00

(circa 2007)

1. To learn to do things for myself (to be self-reliant).
2. Be generous with money.
3. School is important.
4. Perfection can be found in a chocolate chip cookie.
5. Dad's can be "room mom" and cook dinner for the family.
6. It's important to think about the future.
7. Don't be a quitter.
8. Be respectful to authority.
9. How to plunge a toilet, replace registration tags, and change a light bulb.
10. You are never too old to enjoy Disneyland like a kid.

Happy Father's day, Dad! I love you.

2011-06-15T22:17:00.000-07:00

I've been home sick today and am now officially obsessed with Pinterest (first found via Erin).

Here's mine:

Happiness is...

2011-06-13T21:29:00.000-07:00

Talking to your whole family on the phone at once (yay speaker phones).

P.S. As I write this they are all home and watching The Bachelorette together... how cute is that? We have our moments. :)

summer goals (for Amy)

2011-06-12T15:44:00.000-07:00

Dear Amy,

First of all, I miss you and am so hopeful I'll get to see you this summer! I loved your latest post and you have inspired this one. :)

My summer goals are...

to see you!
try out the pool at my new complex (it is literally outside my front door, I look at it from my balcony)
visit a church (because, honestly, I do really need to find one up here)
wear skirts and dresses more often
get a tan

Happy summer to us!

Love,

Carrie

P.S. This video makes me smile. I love us!

a mid-twenty-something single woman

2011-06-11T19:44:00.000-07:00

on a weekend...

First, let me start by saying I first titled this post with the word "young" replacing the word "mid." I am 25. This age marks "mid-twenties." It's strange to realize... sort of... but I think I like it.

Okay, back to my weekend... I spent my Friday night with a close friend having a heart-to-heart over burgers. Perfect starts to the weekend.

Today, I woke up at 9am (early, but to one in their "early twenties" and on the way to sleeping in to one in her "mid-twenties")... just kidding... I woke up because I've been sleeping badly in my new apartment (but LOVE it otherwise). I read in bed for two hours and finished my book, The Help. It is AMAZING. I feel like I usually finish books and think "that was pretty good, but they don't write them like they used to," but this one made me want to shout from the rooftops about it and start reading it again. GO BUY IT. It is an incredible novel. Teaches you, frees you, and reminds you. It is a quality novel.

Then I watched TV, chatted with my roomie, and took a leisurely shower (don't you love those, when you're not late for work?). I met my good friend, Nichol, for a trip to the movies and Barnes & Noble (where I spent way too much money and bought 6 movies and a magazine and put back two more and a book). We saw Woody Allen's Midnight in Paris. It was... unexpected. Good, but random. Owen Wilson's character transports back to Paris in the 1920's and hang out with Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Gertrude Stein, and plenty more. I think I liked it because of my English background. It took me to places and conversations I used to imagine in my Hemingway and Faulkner class. I loved that about it.

Now I am spending my evening watching Season Two of Mad Men. I just ate my favorite dinner (of the moment): prosciutto, cheese, and fruit/tomato.

These are the kind of weekends I love to break up the craziness of my work week and normal busy weekends. I crave days spent with nothing to do but meet friends and watch TV. Love it.

This weekend is the best part of being a mid-twenty-something single woman.

(photo from here).

Stephanie Nielson

2011-05-31T21:44:00.000-07:00

I am watching Stephanie Nielson (of the Nie Nie Dialogues) on Fox News' Glenn Beck right now (before you start commenting, please note, I have never seen his program before) and I feel I have to write about Stephanie Nielson and how amazing her journey.

I have followed Stephanie's blog and personal journey (as depicted through her blog) for about three years now. I've watched her on Glenn Beck, Oprah, and 20/20 and read her sister's blog and her blog and I am just continually amazed at Stephanie's strength, character, and bravery. She is a great example of rising above bad circumstances and learning to find joy in the every day. Her story reminds me that no matter how bad life gets, it will get better, with faith, family, and strength. Her family reminds me of what a support system can do to build strength in others. Stephanie's whole story is amazing and I can't wait to keep reading how it unfolds.

Please do yourself a favor and read her blog. It's great. Check out her sister, Courtney's, blog while you're at it. I don't know either of them, but I feel like I do, and that is why I love the blogosphere.

Catching up with myself

2011-05-30T19:30:00.000-07:00

Tonight marks the end of my week off. Aside from the back pain, it was quite lovely. I majorly vegged out. I slept more than ten hours every night, watched TV, read, and just hung out in my new apartment. Then I went home to San Diego for the long weekend, where I did some of the same, but also ran errands with my family and ate yummy meals together. It was all glorious and tonight my back feels much better than it did a week ago.

I realized today that I haven't had a week off of nothing-ness since I was in college on Spring break (because I've decided Christmas doesn't count... that week is packed full of crazy and fun). Don't get me wrong, I have taken vacations since then, but I am always somewhere other than home (New York, Palm Desert, Texas, etc). I love taking vacations, but a week at home is a whole different experience of relaxation and a feeling of catching up with yourself. I guess that's how I feel tonight, that I've somehow caught up with myself. Don't you like the way that sounds? I sure do.

Tomorrow begins my real life again... catching up at work, paying bills, finish unpacking my very last box (there's always one, isn't there?), and the other parts of my usual schedule. But I have learned this week who I am without my schedule and my job. It seems more of me than I wish to admit is linked to my job: what they think of me, how well I do, making sure my ongoing checklist continues to be checked off. It's depressing and I don't want it to be true... anymore.

So, here's to a good week!

Top Ten: Mona Lisa Smile

2011-05-25T21:08:00.000-07:00

I love the film Mona Lisa Smile and here are ten reasons why...

1. Julia Roberts is just quality no matter the role and I seem to like her in her most random ones: Mona Lisa Smile, Mystic Pizza, and Ocean's 11.

2. Love the 1950's.

3. It's all about women's rights (which, as you know, is my passion).

4. The wedding scene - love then music, dresses, and dancing.

5. Teacher/student affairs.

6. The soundtrack (I highly recommend it).

7. The scene between Kirsten Dunst and Maggie Gyllenhaal when she admits the truth about her marriage.

8. It's inspiring and motivating.

9. Included art history.

10. This movie is in my Top 5 favorite movies of all time because it resonates with so many passions and events in my life.

Where I'm at...

2011-05-25T20:22:00.000-07:00

... on my couch, basically on bed rest (sound dramatic enough?).

I messed up my back while moving, which is pretty scary for me because I have a history of back surgeries and haven't had this much back pain since my recovery over ten years ago. I'm sure it has everything to do with picking up boxes, cleaning, and moving furniturere. It also doesn't help that I moved boxes of books a lot of the week prior to moving weekend. Not to mention all the stress this month of May has brought full of busy weekends moving, planning a bridal shower, working graduation, and my job in general.

So here I am... resting? It's funny because I am the laziest person I know and have the excuse to rest, but all the worry and guilt and pain are clouding my ability to fully enjoy it. But, I am trying. Watching TV, catching up on my DVR, watching movies (watching Mona Lisa Smile with my sister as I write this), and reading (I'm reading "The Help" right now and really enjoying it).

This week has been full of new things. A new apartment, which I guess is sort of an old apartment because I lived in this same complex a couple years ago, and I really like it. We are almost completely moved in and I love the windows and how the sun and breeze just sweep through all the rooms. This will sound cheesy, but yesterday one of my neighbors (the back of my apartment is about four feet away from the back of another set) was listening to Michael Bubble and I was reminded of a time when I last lived here and I was in a state of panic and suddenly one of my neighbors starts rehearsing a beautiful song and I felt calm and comforted. I felt that same peace yesterday listening to Michael Bubble sing.

My other new experience was taking myself to the urgent care for some pain meds for my back. I was in so much pain and didn't want to call in sick to work again without some answers. Forty minutes later I had three prescriptions and a doctor's note keeping me home for the rest of this week.

Oh, and I also got my first duvet comforter, which has been really nice considering how much I've been in bed this week!

So, my couch or bed is where you can find me with a book close by, remote in my hand, phone next to me, and resting on a heating pad.

Until my next post...

Oprah

2011-05-25T16:18:00.000-07:00

The Oprah Winfrey show ended today.

I am not handling it very well. I have cried through the last two episodes and cried again today over the last one.

What will we do without Oprah?

What will I do without Oprah.

One of the best things about getting cable and DVR at my apartment was that I could tape Oprah every day. I could see her interview celebrities and children and victims and everyday see people re-building and changing their lives.

Oprah has been on the air for my entire life. My Mom has always loved Oprah (my Dad too in some ways), so it has been the soundtrack of my life.

People have been asking what will be the legacy of the Oprah show? I can tell you what I think...

Oprah's legacy is to live our best life. To get an education. To read. To forgive. To leave the world better than you found it. To create the life you want. To take responsibility for your future and to learn from your past. Oprah taught us about not letting your past dictate your future. She taught us not to be the victim. She taught us to pray and grow and be better. She used her show to reach all people, regardless of race, sexual orientation, weight, religion, gender, or age. She used her show as a classroom of honesty, acceptance, and truth. Oprah used her show as a way to be your friend. Oprah is America's best girl friend.

Oprah taught me about learning from experience and not giving up. She introduced me to Anderson Cooper, Randy Pausch, and Maya Angelou. She showed me the devastation of Katrina. She recommended books to me. She was the show to watch before great movies opened to hear what she thought of them and meet the stars to get their stories of filming. Oprah let me be a fly on the wall for her conversations with George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Tom Hanks, and countless other celebrities.

Oprah ended her 4.561st show today perfectly. It was just her and the audience. It was her great last lecture. I love closure moments like this and I love that Oprah understands and lives the value of these moments.... teachable moments.

Here were Oprah's lessons on today's last show:

She never missed a day in 25 years because she knew that her stage was what she was called to do.

"Everybody has a calling and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it."

"Live from the heart of your self."

"Each one of you has a platform... that is where your power is."

"You will receive in direct proportion to how you give."

"You have the power to change some body's life."

"Not everybody gets paid for [their calling]."

"Start embracing the life that is calling you and use your life to serve the world."

"When you know better, you do better." (she learned that from Maya Angelou).

"Nobody but you is responsible for your life."

"You're responsible for the energy that you create for yourself and you're responsible for the energy that you bring to others."

Being responsible for yourself brings freedom.

"There is a common thread that runs through all our pain and and all of our suffering,and that is unworthiness. not feeling worthy enough to own the life you were created for."

"You are worthy because you were born."

We all want validation.

"Everybody wants to be heard."

"What are the whispers in your life right now?"

Connect, embrace, liberate, love somebody."

She ended the show by giving her e-mail (oprah@oprah.com) to all of us, which I love because that is what a friend does when they leave their job for their next adventure in life.

And she ended her show saying "to God be the glory" and I have to agree.

Truth

2011-05-20T16:17:00.000-07:00

Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away. But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.

“Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.

Matthew 24: 35-44

Dream like New York

2011-05-18T16:40:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been thinking about change. Not small changes, big changes, which I know is unusual for me considering my hatred and fear of change.

I've been thinking about moving to the east coast, especially to New York City or Washington DC. New York is a no brainer, I love it there and it feels like my soul mate in so many ways. DC because Nikki is there and two of my cousins live there as well, so I'd have some friends, which would be nice and make things less intimidating. But what would I do? Where would I work? Where would I live? So many unknowns, which is why I quickly shelf the dream.

But what if I didn't shelf it? And what if I didn't let fear and the unknown stop me? And what if I just went out on a limb? What if I move there and hate it and move back? What if.

Maybe I should be asking why not?

On my Mary Englebert desk calendar today's quote was "Why not go out on a limb? That's where the fruit is." - Mark Twain. Is that a sign?

This really all started last week when my wise coworker told me "never underestimate the value of a one way ticket." She told me to travel before I enroll in a doctorate program. I think she meant go to Italy, but I think we all know I couldn't do that given my fear of flying, but her words keep whispering to me.

Never underestimate the value of a one way ticket.

What if?

Nikki's bridal shower

2011-05-17T20:54:00.000-07:00

This weekend my sister and I hosted Nikki's bridal shower. Actually, the whole family really did. Mom and Dad did just as much work as Ashley and I did. Nikki is one of my besties from high school and really became part of the family. Ash and I are really looking forward to being bridesmaids.

Ashely was really the brains behind the whole thing.

She decorated and organized and rearranged the back yard. It looked beautiful.

It was so fun to meet all the bridesmaids. It's always such a strange, but lovely, mix of old and new friends all of whom love the bride but don't know each other. The best part was we all got along and I am already looking forward to spending the wedding weekend together.

When settled

2011-05-17T19:49:00.000-07:00

Hello old friend!

I feel like when life gets busy this blog becomes what seems like an after thought, but it is actually quite the opposite in my head. In my head, this blog is the reward. It is the fun task I get to complete after all my work is done.

When I was a kid my parents taught me that we could play when our homework was finished. As I grew up I still held to that philosophy (except when I watched TRL while doing my homework in high school). These days, I am the laziest person I know, but I still wait to blog once I have finished the chores I must do.

May is a month full of chores for me. Some have been fun (like Nikki's bridal shower... pictures and post to come), some have been work related (like working a full Saturday for graduation), and some chores are just that - chores (like moving, which is what I am doing this weekend).

So, be patient with my blog in the meantime and know that I will post when I am settled. I am busy packing, loading, moving, and actively trying to limit my anxiety about change, which I hate, even though I am excited to live in my new apartment.

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-08T19:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Mom,

I love you.

May day, yay

2011-05-03T20:38:00.000-07:00

Sunday night, May 1st, America learned of the death of Osama Bin Laden. A man we have been fighting for decades and who hurt us the most on September 11, 2001, a day Americans will never forget. To say there was celebration, relief, and pride in the hearts of many American citizens that day is an understatement.

For me personally, when I first read the news via a text message from MSNBC, I nearly cried. I then got teary-eyed over a late dinner with my sister as we read Facebook statuses and Twitter feeds about the news.

Many people are feeling conflicted about celebrating the death of a human being, while others can’t stand to even call Osama Bin Laden (OBL) a human at all. And others are simply grateful for the bravery, action, and intelligence of our military for doing what they do so well in protecting our freedom.

The death of OBL brought together Americans in a way that only 9/11 did nearly ten years ago. We are a nation of differing opinions and for one evening, regarding one person, a large population of people was once again facing a united front. Once again, we came together to heal. Once again, America came together despite politics, and people hugged each other, but this time out of joy and not fear.

I am so thankful to our military. I am specifically grateful to the SEAL Team 6. I am thankful for every military family member and friend who suffers during long absences and fears the death of their loved ones on a regular basis. I am thankful for their bravery and strength.
My prayer is also that the families of 9/11 can find a bit more peace. That they can take one more step toward healing.

Still obsessed...

2011-04-30T13:53:00.000-07:00

But really, no immediate honeymoon?

(Sigh). I so wish the Royal Wedding could be on every day. It does a heart good.

(again, all photos from here).

Top Ten: Royal Wedding Moments

2011-04-29T21:39:00.000-07:00

Today I watched the Royal Wedding and officially understood people's love of the Royal family, including my Mom's love of Diana. Watching the wedding really did feel so special and unifying to see it all unfold live. I love moments like these in history. Moments I understand and take part in. Moments that unite people all over the world.

Many people complained about the amount of attention, money, and press regarding this wedding. But to me, I love every minute. In a time of war, unrest, and death, the world needed a wedding. William and Kate's day offered us all a chance to unite and focus on something sweet, hopeful, and lovely. The wedding served as a reminder that good things still happen and proved that celebration can ease the great burdens of today.

Also, when else can we see a Royal Wedding? It is not often celebrities let us in on their weddings, and today, William and Kate were sort of forced to, and I am extremely grateful.

The wedding was one of the most beautiful I have ever seen. I woke up around 1:30am just in time to see the Beckhams take their seats. I watched until about 6:30am and went to sleep shortly after the kiss(es) on the balcony. I ohh-ed and ahh-ed, laughed, and cried, talked to my friends and family and then watched the recaps all day long. Taking the day off was an excellent idea (British folks had today off as a holiday).

So, here are my favorite moments:

1. The wedding dress. Ah-maz-ing. It was perfection. Kate looked amazing. It was exactly what I would expect.

2. Prince Harry - from the stolen look of the bride coming down the aisle, to his smiles during the ceremony, to the cute way he rounded the little page boys and bridesmaids, to how he and Pippa laughed together. He is so cute and seems like such a charmer. I just wish I could have heard his toast at the reception and had him serve me a "survivors' breakfast."

3. When William whispered "you look beautiful" to Kate as she finally reached him at the alter.

4. The special moments between Will and Kate - the quick glance during the sermon was my favorite. But also the sweet looks and smiles during their vows.

5. The two kisses on the balcony.

(photo credit)

6. Pippa. First of all, who doesn't love the name Pippa? Second, she is smokin' hot. She looked beautiful in her bridesmaids dress.

(photo credit)

7. Commenting today that Harry and Pippa should be together. Love that idea!

8. Seeing the Beckhams, the hats, and the other royal family members, as well as the Middleton's.

9. Texting/calling/Facebook-ing with friends and family during it all.

(photo credit)

10. "Watching" the whole wedding with Anderson Cooper, Cat Deeley, and Piers Morgan on CNN.

Now I just really wish I was at the evening reception! Can't wait to hear the stories and see pictures.

Will & Kate

2011-04-29T17:56:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time,
A boy was born into royalty amid scandal and heartache.

Meanwhile a girl was born into common conditions (also known as most everyone else).

The boy and the girl grew up and went to college, where they became good friends.

Until one day the girl showed her bikini body and got the full attention of a prince...

for a time...

and then again...

Then the boy asked the girl to marry him (with his mother's famous ring).

And she said "yes."

The rest is history...

Or actually, is making history...

A royal and a commoner,

a young couple actually in love,

and two kisses instead of one.

May they live happily ever after.

(all photos from here, here, and here).

The Royal Wedding

2011-04-27T13:42:00.000-07:00

I am so excited to watch the Royal Wedding very early on Friday morning (I honestly view it as Thursday late night)! I decided to take the day off work on Friday. Yippee! I figured life is too short not to and in ten years I'll look back and be excited that I watched it live with thousands of others. It really is a big deal. :)

I am still deciding if I will watch with my friend Teri and her friends, go home and wake my Mom up for the wedding dress, or watch it in the comfort of my own apartment. I'll probably do the latter, but we'll see. However, after I got Friday off, I did go out and buy items for a little treat (my nod to an English snack) and a bottle of champagne to toast the happy couple.

Aside from where I will watch the wedding, I also need to decide which network(s) I will watch it on. I am thinking ABC and CNN (ya know, for Anderson), but that is also left to be decided.

Regardless, it will be fun!

For your viewing pleasure, here is a schedule of the time of events. Very helpful if you are not staying up for the entire night.

Dear Grandma,

2011-04-19T20:26:00.000-07:00

It's been one year since Jesus took you home. I wasn't sure what would happen with all of us, but it's been much better than I expected. You would be so happy.

I love you. I miss you. Everybody's fine.

Love,

Carrie

The Kennedy's

2011-04-12T22:04:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching the Reelz miniseries, The Kennedy's. I loved it! It was so good.

from the film: bobby, ethel, john, jackie, joe, and rose

Katie Holmes rocked as Jackie and Greg Kinnear was incredible as JFK. The series made me fall in love with Bobby Kennedy. The whole thing was really well done and I was hooked in the first episode. It showed fiction and non-fiction events really well.

The miniseries included all the topics linked with the Kennedy name, most I knew about and some I didn't: The Cuban Missile Crisis, the Bay of Pigs, the marriages of JFK and Jackie, Joe and Rosie, and Bobby and Ethel. The "friendships" with Marilyn Monroe and Frank Sinatra. Even a party at Peter Lawford's where Bobby was nearly seduced by Marilyn.

from film: bobby and ethel

from film: jackie and john

The most fascinating part for me was wondering if there is any truth to the Bobby loved Jackie rumor.

I am now obsessed with all things Kennedy and want to know everything about them. Do you know of a great book about them? There are so many to chose from and I want to start with the best.

the real Kennedy crew: John, Jean, Rose, Joe, Patricia, Bobby, Eunice, and Ted (on knees)

(photos from film found here and of family here).

Words to live by... (con't)

2011-04-11T20:46:00.000-07:00

Jeremiah 17:7-10 (New International Version)

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD,

whose confidence is in him.

They will be like a tree planted by the water

that sends out its roots by the stream.

It does not fear when heat comes;

its leaves are always green.

It has no worries in a year of drought

and never fails to bear fruit.”

The heart is deceitful above all things

and beyond cure.

Who can understand it?

“I the LORD search the heart

and examine the mind,

to reward each person according to their conduct,

according to what their deeds deserve.”

Words to live by

2011-04-10T17:48:00.000-07:00

We all just do the best we can. It's when this stops being true that you can be blame.

I just watched the Judds interview on The View and am taping their show tonight on OWN. Their interviewed reminded me of a truth I hold dear: that we all do the best we know how. And if someone does that, how can you really blame them? The Judds live this way and make most families look functional, but it was a tough day with my family too.

Sometimes life gets a bit hectic and we all become bad versions of ourselves and need grace more on some days than others. Today, I was in that spot. Well, sort of this whole weekend. But I just try to remember that most people don't wake up and think "today, I am going to be awful and rude and really ruin some one's day." No, most wake up and try their best. We can only be as good as the tools we have and to expect us to be more than that just isn't fair.

So then next time you are frustrated by someone, annoyed by someone, or hurt by someone (boyfriend, family, and stranger) just remember that they are trying their best. And at the end of the day, what more can we ask?

Today via Instagram

2011-03-30T21:25:00.000-07:00

I recently downloaded Instagram on my iPhone ~~to have pictures like trendy bloggers~~ for fun. So today, I experimented and now this post is the fruit of my labor...

(can you tell I am sleepy?)

Here is (most of) my day in pictures.

My outfit today. I have worn dresses or skirts all week. That's a first for me.

As soon as I came home, I sat on the couch and talked with Ash for an hour.

What I'm doing now... blogging and watching DVR'd Bethenny Getting Married.

The new ketchup container at Chick-Fil-A (where we went for dinner). You can dip or squeeze it.

My sister hiding from the camera (sorry for posting this, Ash!).

Gorgeous sunset.

Also, just for the record, because I am tired, I have to brag... last week I made a prediction on Facebook that the first person to be voted off Dancing with the Stars would be the radio Love Line guy... and I was right. :) Now please give me my own pop culture column?

Okay, sorry for the most random post yet.

Happy Wednesday! We made it through half the week.

Whew.

Top Ten: Things I am loving right now

2011-03-25T20:17:00.000-07:00

1. Adele's new CD (especially this song). She is amazing!
2. The Real Housewives on Bravo.
3. Pretty much everything about Bethenny Frankel.
4. Planning on which magazines to buy next... People (because, hello, Angelina and Brad are on the cover) and Vogue (because there's an article about Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen).
5. Reading celebrity Twitter comments. Shallow and I love it.
6. C.Jane's Vlogs. My kind of comedy and so fun to actually "see" a blogger!
7. Jamie's blog entry (which she gave me a shout out for on Twitter... LOL).

8. Facebook messages (thank you Alex, Anna and Karen!).

9. This wedding found on Once Wed. It is picturesque perfect.

10. "Forget You" by CeeLo Green.

Elizabeth Taylor

2011-03-23T17:54:00.000-07:00

Elizabeth Taylor passed away today. Another Hollywood legend to be remembered in black and white. I need to see more of her films, because I really only know her from Little Women.

So much to do, so little done, such things to be.

~ Elizabeth Taylor

(Photo and good article from here. Others here and here).

Hiding.

2011-03-22T21:08:00.000-07:00

The world is broken-hearted and scared right now. The tragedy in Japan from the tsunami and earthquake. The threat of nuclear radiation spreading. The upheaval and war beginning in Libya. The images on the news are too much to bear. So much in fact that I have not looked at them. I have to admit that I have remained naive and clueless about most of what is happening in the world right now. When I heard about Japan all I wanted to know was were the people that I know of and those I love alive and well and are we safe from the tsunami warning that was issued for the west coast. Once I heard the answers of both those questions I withdrew. I blocked it out. I closed the door on Japan and the suffering.

I hate to be this person, and in many ways, I am usually not this person. I am the woman who sat in front of the TV for days watching 9/11 footage and missed youth group to sit and watch reports of the Columbine shooting. I am the one who keeps newspapers about major bombings and reads everything about earthquakes on the Internet.

But I can't do it anymore.

I have to go into self-preservation mode.

You are probably reading this post thinking I am a selfish, closed-minded, heartless person who could care less about the problems of the world so long as my own bubble isn't harmed in the process. But that is not true. I do care. Sometimes, I care too much. To the point of anxiety attacks and insomnia and tears and phone calls to my Mom about risk possibilities and Internet articles about the largest earthquakes and tsunami's on record and magazine articles about survivors and Anderson Cooper's voice on the TV in the background 24/7. Sometimes, I get so obsessed that I end up in the chair at my counselor's office crying about how to live a functional and healthy life without fear of things I can't control.

So this time around, I am doing things I can control to avoid becoming the worst version of my fearful self. I am keeping my distance from the news and only reading the headlines on the msn homepage. I am praying and then letting go. Because if I don't, I will never leave my house. I will cry for those suffering and I will go into hiding to postpone my own.

But know that I am praying for those in Japan. Praying that the nuclear radiation will get under control and that those lost will be found. Praying that those without power and gas (like my coworker Reiko's parents) will have it shortly. I am also praying for Libya. Praying that World War Three will not begin. Praying peace will be restored and that people will stop being abused. Praying for the brave men and women from home will be safe as they risk their lives to bring justice, in addition to keeping me safe here.

To those in pain, to those with fear, to those who are sad, and to those who are hiding from it all, I pray that you will lean on God, because He is the only thing constant in this crazy place we live in and He will not turn away from that which is unknown, painful, scary, tragic, or out of control. When we are weak, He is strong. Amen.

Palm Desert

2011-03-22T21:07:00.000-07:00

This weekend I was very spoiled. My family and I stayed at The JW Marriott in Palm Desert and had an incredible time. The hotel is ridiculously gorgeous. The scenery is breath-taking. It is a man-made lake with ducks and swans and a golf course surrounding it. The mornings were my favorite time of day because it was so peaceful and you could only hear the animals swimming and talking. So lovely. We ate awesome food over the weekend, but the most fun experience was at Mikado. We took a gondola to get there. It is the kind of place where the chef cooks in front of you and sometimes throws shrimp at you. And sometimes he throws shrimp in your sister's mouth from 15 feet away and strangers give her a standing ovation. :) It was awesome.

Patience is a virtue

2011-03-16T21:19:00.000-07:00

Or so they say.

This week has been incredibly hard. I had gum surgery on Friday morning where the "gum guy" (as I affectionatly call him) took a chunk of my tissue on the roof of my mouth (really the side... next to my back molars) and attached it to my lower gum for two of my teeth. Now, I have stitches driving me CRAZY on the roof of my mouth and pain and salt water rinses and sore brushing. I also can only eat soft (and not hot) foods, so all my meals have ranged in color from white to off white to slightly yellow in color (meaning mashed potatoes, soup, and yogurt, minus creamed spinach) and all lukewarm. This all makes me a very unhappy and grumpy camper.

Ironically, I feel like God is trying to teach me something through all of this. He is trying to teach me patience. This is a lesson I've been considering for a few months now because I have been challenged by this verse. Now, I am in a situation where I have to be patient. I physically can't eat certain foods and force faster healing, so I have to just be. This lesson is facing me in other areas of my life too right now and it just seems like all situations and annoyances and fears are staring me in the face.

I know that patience is an important characteristic to have and integrate into my life. But it has been a tough lesson for me to learn this week and I have failed at it every day. I have let my negativity get the best of me and let my patience run out about everything... from people to opportunities to guilt to Charlie Sheen.

(thanks to Erin for writing an honest post which prompted this one).

Ides of March

2011-03-15T20:29:00.000-07:00

How have I not blogged all of March? My birthday month. The month of day light savings. The month when you know Spring is on its way. So maybe that is why I haven't blogged... been too busy celebrating. But that all changes today.

Stated the month with my birthday celebration with the family. We went to The Melting Pot in La Jolla. I had never been and always complain that people get to go there on dates and that means I don't, so my Mom suggested my 25th birthday. It was a very neat experience and the dessert was to die for! OMG. Amazing.

Then, I had an incredible birthday dinner with my girlfriends, including my sister and roommate, Emily. The other lovely ladies were Nichol, Sarah, Marci, and Erin.

It was perfect. We went to Buca di Beppo and talked for hours. They are the kind of women who when you say goodbye you're on cloud nine and feel amazing about yourself and inspired and encouraged. They even wrote a list of 5 things they each love about me. It was wonderful.

My coworkers spoiled me that day as well!

I ended the celebrating with a Vegas trip with my bestie (since we were five), Amy. We had an incredible time! It was exactly the trip we had hoped for... except for the part where we walked basically the entire Strip and couldn't really move the rest of the weekend... and we walked it as soon as we got there! Bad idea. We stayed at the Mandalay Bay in an awesome room. Walked through a ton of the hotels (The Cosmopolitan, Bellagio, Cesar's Palace, MGM, New York New York, Paris, and The Venetian). We met up with my other bestie, Rachel, and that was too fun to have two of my favorite people who were so key in certain parts of my life, meet each other. We gambled and each won about $60 (I won't tell you how much I lost). We ate amazing food at Canaletto in the Venetian and also ate at the Paris buffet and Margaritaville.

This past weekend I had a gum graft (it sucks and I am really unhappy today... may write about it later) and I also went to my roommate Sarah's wedding (Em's sister).

This weekend I am going to Palm Desert with the fam.

Whew, see why I've been missing?

Oscar (part two)

2011-02-28T21:22:00.000-08:00

Well, it's over for another year. I am embarrassed to admit how much I wished I was at an Oscar party last night. Ya know, with a gorgeous dress on and George Clooney hold my hand while we smile for the cameras.

I thought the whole show was pretty boring. I livened it up by reading Twitter and Facebook at the same time. Here is a snapshot of my twitter from last night:

So, to review...

Anne Hathaway: Stole the show! I knew she was talented and have been a fan for a long time, but she single-handedly (in my opinion) hosted the show last night and pulled it off. Is there anything she can't do? Big fan!

James Franco: Was so looking forward to seeing James host and then I was super disappointed. However, it was fun to see/watch his tweets during the show. I am so fascinated by James Franco because he plays all kinds of roles, in in two grad programs, is an author, acts on a soap opera, and rumor has it he can sing. That is all why I was so looking forward to his hosting gig.

Colin Firth: Yay for Mr. Darcy's big break!

Robert Downey Jr: I finally understand why people find him so attractive. Funny, self-deprecating, handsome, in awe of his wife. I get it and I concur.

Sandra Bullock: Still classy.

Christian Bale: Completely deserved to win! I loved his performance in The Fighter. He will always be Laurie to me.

Natalie Portman: One of my best dressed picks. I also loved her acceptance speech. She gained a few points for me last night, because I really am kind of annoyed by her (sorry).

Jesse Eisenberg and Justin Timberlake: Well hello, Handsome.

Now back to the mingling... don't you just wish you were a fly on the wall?

(photos from here, here, and here).

Oscars.

2011-02-27T12:17:00.000-08:00

Today is practically a holiday in "Carrie terms." It's the Academy Awards! Can't wait to see the fashion, James and Anne host, Christian Bale and Colin Firth win, and then see all the pictures tomorrow of the after parties. The only thing that would make the day even better was if the Academy shocked everyone and gave Best Picture to The Social Network instead of The King's Speech.

(photo).

Beholden.

2011-02-21T21:07:00.000-08:00

I have weddings on the brain.

This year I am in two weddings and invited to a few more than that. I love weddings. It is so fun to go see what decisions a bride makes and what the bridal party wears. I love to see the center pieces and hear what music choices the couple made. I love to hear the vows. I love it all.

This weekend my sister tried on wedding dresses. However, they were not for her. My cousin, Julie, is getting married and her family was visiting, so being the personal shoppers our family likes to be, we went wedding dress shopping on her behalf. My sister was our model and she looked gorgeous (well, she always does, but more so than usual).

Both the dresses she tried on were by Lusan. The designs were breath-taking. Here is Ashley in the two dresses:

The bridal shop is in downtown Carlsbad and was adorable.

To further my wedding obsession this week was the launch of Anthropologie's bridal line, BHLDN. The blogosphere has been abuzz about this for a couple weeks and I couldn't wait to check out their website. I love it!

Love the wedding-type quiz.

Love that my "type" recommended the wedding down I already loved.

Love the vintage wedding photos.

Just love it.

Who doesn't love a wedding anyway?