Saturday, May 12, 2012

Life punctuation

A wise friend told me today that "life is punctuated by perfection," that life is never all bad or all good, but that times are spotted with moments of perfection, moments of joy and goodness, between moments of sadness, anger, or devastation. This feels so very true.

I spent some time today at a baby shower with friends I knew in college. We sat around and talked about how I've been at APU for nearly a decade now. It is a thought I've been struck by often lately and was relieved when someone else said it out loud. We all talked about how long ago college seems and how we have become adults now. My friend, Amy, and I discussed this same thing earlier this week, that we are adults and it just sort of happened. You spend so much time in college wondering when you'll finally feel like an adult and without warning, months or years or moments go by, and it hits you that you are, in fact, an adult, just when the thought couldn't be further from your mind.

I had a very full circle kind of experience at the shower today. I was reminded of the good moments I had as an undergraduate. Lately, I have been carrying the heavy load of my time in undergrad. The anxiety and depression I felt. The hypocrisy of those around me. The shallow friendships and lonely days. How many people I went to school with are no longer Christians and no longer value the morals they once so strongly believed in. I've been reminded of the poor choices that leaders made when we were students. I have so much unresolved anger and bitterness toward the people, places, and parts of my undergrad career, so much so, that those three and half years are a ball of negativity for me - some of which were so painful I can't even remember chunks of semesters and experiences, as a way to self-preserve.

But today, I was reminded, simply by being in the presence of former friends, that parts of undergrad were good and crucial to my growth as a woman. I was reminded that some of the friends there today represent literal moments when my life changed course and gained direction. It made the wound of undergrad heal a bit, like a Barbie band-aid over a skinned knee.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Half full

There are a few things depressing me today.

Politics.
Glee.
Grocery stores.
Divorce.
Marriage.
Division.
Mistaken theology.
Oatmeal cookies.

So, lets focus on things that are making me happy.

Smash.
Tony Bennett's Duets II.
Laughter.
Disneyland.
New cell phone cover.
On the Island.
Anderson Cooper and Kelly Ripa on WWHL.
Family facebook conversations.