Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Accidents happen

(love Google's picture for today honoring Mark Twain and showing Tom Sawyer) 

This morning, while peacefully (and two minutes late) driving to work, I was rear ended at a stop light. I am fine (thank God), no one was hurt. Strangely enough, I wasn't even angry when it happened. Is that weird? I literally just thought "welp, here we go." That was it. I am still fascinated by my own response. 

(about the word "welp," this is a weird word that I rarely say aloud - for obvious reasons - but often think in my head)

The second interesting thing about the accident is that my first thoughts were about work. This is either insanely pathetic or qualifies me to get employee of the quarter for an entire year. Thought 1: "welp (there's that word again), there goes my student worker project for today. Thought 2: do you think work will call me to see why I'm so late? Thought 3: How mad will my boss be that I have to skip out today? Thought 4: I am not taking today off. Thought 5: I should call in and tell them I'll be late. 

Are any of those thoughts normal when you've been in an accident? I should have thought "thank God, I'm okay" or "I need to call my Dad" or "write down this man's license plate" or even "where is a cute police officer when you need one?" Of course, I did think all of those thoughts later (some much much later... like the hot cop, because he really wasn't needed.. although maybe a handsome guy in uniform is always wanted needed?). 

One of my other thoughts was relief that I could go to work and be comforted and helped by some wonderful women who I am so thankful for! My coworker, Cindy, even drove me to the collision repair shop. I am seriously blessed with some of my coworkers. 

My great sister drove me to get a rental car. And, my Dad, was an example of what every Dad should be in a daughter's crisis (as I knew he would be... my Dad excels in crisis mode). He helped me figure out what steps to take, let me do it on my own, and at the end of one of our (six) phone conversations ended the call by saying "you're doing great." That alone made the whole day worth it. 

Ironically enough, the man who hit me works where I work. I was nervous about driving the rental car, but actually really love it. And, the day really showed me how loved and cared for I am, which makes me so thankful for God's provision. 

Now, I am finishing this crazy unexpected day with a muscle relaxer for my back (thanks, Aunt Sue!) and literally laughing until I cry while watching today's The Chew. 

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The way it feels to be home

The way I know the roads without really seeing them. 
The way I park the car in the street.
The way the curve around the corner makes the corner of my mouth turn up.
The way I breathe when I open the door.
The way the windows glow.
The way the chair holds the pillow.
The way Lucy's tail wags.
The way I stop to pet her before even closing the front door.
The way it feels to hug my parents.
The way nothing has changed.
The way I notice a piece has shifted.
The way my room looks.
The way my bed feels.
The way I curl up to cuddle.
The way I go to bed early.
The way I fall asleep feeling safe. 
The way the shower feels foreign.
The way the carpet feels under my feet.
The way the door sounds when it closes.
The way it smells familiar.
The way the sounds surround me.
The way the pictures comfort me.
The way it's exactly the same and completely different.
The way it feels to be home.  

Monday, November 21, 2011

Christmas came early

(Small World decked out)

Christmas seems to be coming early this year. The weather is wonderfully cold, radio stations are already playing  constant Christmas music, and Black Friday deals have began to pop up, all before Thanksgiving. 

I love it! 

I am really feeling the Christmas spirit this year. It is a special time, full of family, scripture, songs, and lights. The best part about Christmas is that every where you visit has something Christmas-focused. My work decorates, Disneyland is covered (I just got a pass for this year!), and stores are decked out. It's wonderful. 

Thanksgiving is Thursday and I am looking forward to being home with the family for a long weekend. It's been a while since I've been home. I hope to cook Thanksgiving Part II again this year and the family and I will decorate for Christmas. It will be eventful, to say the least. 

Thursday, November 17, 2011


Yesterday I met author Lauren Winner. I recently finished her book "Girl Meets God" for an undergraduate book club I help lead (and really enjoyed it). Lauren was so smart and quirky. She was exactly what I expected and yet so different than I expected. In her book, she is honest and incredibly intelligent and warm. In person, she is even smarter, with a big vocabulary and vast knowledge of many topics. 

Listening to her speak reminded me of when I went to meet Anne Lamott. Both are quirky and witty and very smart. Both intimidate me with their intelligence and vocabulary. Both are not very into fashion or make up (but beautiful). It's as if they are so focused on what is in their head (brilliance), that the outer appearance is much less important. I love that about them. Each is a very strong, smart, accomplished woman. 

It is fascinating to meet people whose words have affected and changed your own life. They are so normal and so profound that you can't help but analyze their every move and word. It makes me wonder what other writers are like. It also makes me want to be one. 

Speaking of being a writer, I wrote a piece for my friend's great website, All Groan Up, and would love for you to check it out here.  

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

CMA Awards

Currently watching the CMAs.

I love Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood. They have such great chemistry. They are Barbie and Ken of country music. 


Monday, November 7, 2011

Happy Fall Daylight Time

Yesterday we ended Daylight Savings Time. What do you call that day? I should Google it. I Google everything, did you know that? It's the Strengths Quest test "learner" and "input" in me. I have become completely obsessed with all things Google lately... Gmail, Google Chrome, its apps, etc. I'm a bit of a tech nerd at work these days. 

Anyway, this weekend Fall really came and I welcomed her with open arms! I love Fall and Winter. I don't like to run errands after dark, but I do enjoy driving home from work in the dark  to see all the cute houses with their warm lights shining through uncovered windows. I like to imagine a family, making dinner, cozy and warm inside a cute home. I pray for my future and future family when I pass these homes. I think about the cozy homes I was raised in and family dinners. 

I rang in Fall with a lazy weekend, listening to the rain, wearing cozy socks, and baked oatmeal cookies (via Pioneer Woman... they were amazing and Ash liked them too!). It was a lovely weekend. 

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Guilt disease

I have a disease, it's called GUILT. 

(definition found here). 

Overview: a condition of the entire self that causes insecurity, tears, anger, depression, and uncertainty. Can affect any age and gender, may be genetic, may also be contagious. Affects most people between ages six and death. Guilt causes frustration in self and others, paranoia, and missed opportunities. May lead to living life out of fear, living life according to others and ignoring oneself.   

Symptoms: people pleasing, perfectionism, insecurity, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and frustration. 

Diagnosis: Guilt is the product of trying to please others. It is often a symptom of perfectionists and those trying to keep people happy. It occurs when a person stops listening to themselves and what they want and starts listening to others and their own "could's, would's, should's." It also happens when a person feels there is no right answer, or easy decision, to be made. 

Treatment: Prayer. Listening to one's self. Learning to differentiate between real and false interpretations of situations. Talking to trusted friends or counselors. Letting go. 

Managing: Pro and con lists may help identify decision-making factors. Sleep always helps relieve pressure and stress, which calms guilt. Asking for advice and listening to your intuition. People who learn to manage guilt lead much healthier and happier lives.  

(a fun WebMD-like post because I am fueled by guilt today). 

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Morning TV

As you well know, I love TV. I've had the flu since Monday and spent yesterday and Monday home from work, reading, and watching TV. I re-discovered some lovely shows that I began to really like while in NYC because my Mom and I had very lazy mornings. 

So, what am I watching?

Access Hollywood Live (NBC) - it might be my favorite morning show right now. Billy and Kit have a very fun chemistry and they are hilarious. I also think they are two of the most down to earth TV hosts. 

Today Show with Kathie Lee and Hoda (NBC) - I really like Hoda. Kathie Lee and Hoda are too funny and I like hearing about their personal lives and weekend activities. Plus, they drink booze before noon!

The Chew (ABC) - I just discovered this how this week. I really didn't think I'd like it, but I do! It's talk show meets food network, what could be better? Through this show, I've been "introduced" to Daphne Oz (Dr. Oz's daughter). She is adorable. She's also my age, which gives me a bit of jealous, panic, and insecurity about my own life. 

That's the wrap up! I still tune into The View and Regis and Kelly, but my interest in both is a bit fickle depending on the celebrity. But these other three, I tune in for the morning talk, not just celebrities. 

This whole week has led to a new dream job of being a TV morning show cohost. I'd get to interview celebrities and talk about my weekends, what could be better?