Sunday, May 30, 2010

Fresh laundry

So I am sitting at my home computer writing this entry and by home, I mean my parents’ house, which is where I still consider “home.” Maybe I won’t always, but I do now, and have for 24 years. Even when we moved as a family, a part of the four of us always knew that this home was “home.”
I am sitting in our office surrounded bymiscellaneous papers, a pair of glasses, a head scratcher, a box of Christmas cards, school pictures, and behind me is all of my Mom’s quilting stuff. I just finished watching cable, which I don’t have at my apartment. I have laundry in the dryer. I am drying my bedding and I know that the best part about it will be tomorrow night when I roll into bed and pull the sheets up to cover my mouth and they will smell like my family’s detergent. It’s one of my favorite things. Clean sheets that also smell like home. What could be better?
I drove down today because my Mom and Dad planned a Memorial Day barbeque with some friends. Ashley and Chris came too and I didn’t want to miss out, so I hopped in the car and drove home. I’m glad I did.
As I write this my lovely dog, Lucy, is sitting outside the office door facing the living room and kitchen so she doesn’t miss anything. My sister is in the kitchen in her comfy pants serving herself some ice cream, strawberries, and chocolate sauce (our BBQ dessert). My parents and a couple friends are sitting at the dining room table. They are cracking up and chatting up a storm. The sound of it all might be the most comforting sound ever. It is a sound I have heard my entire life.
A sound that reminds me that these two couples have known each other for many years. It reminds me that family is important. Kids are important. Marriage is important. But it is all tough. Nothing about those three things are easy. But, I am learning, and trying to remind myself when all the dysfunction seems to get the better of my anxiety, that it is worth it. It is all worth it. And it is all what makes life matter. Marriage. Kids. Pets. Homes. Family. Reasons worth living.

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