So, I just realized this is the last weekend before Christmas. Actually, because it is Sunday afternoon, the last weekend before Christmas has basically passed. I am either really not in the Christmas spirit or I live too much in my day to day activities… or maybe it is a mixture of both. I think living away from home makes me forget about Christmas. I mean, we have a tree in my apartment, but I hardly even notice it. It is not as beautiful or full of great memories as my tree at home. I didn’t even decorate it this year. Plus, no neighbors in my complex have put up lights (our old complex did… including us). I think lights on houses should be mandatory because it really gets me excited for the holiday season. With Christmas being on Friday I also realized this weekend was the weekend for Christmas sermons (aside from a Christmas Eve service), and I really like Christmas sermons… especially at North Coast (my church back home). Hearing a Christmas sermon might make me more motivated to go to church tonight (in San Dimas).
I am so unmotivated. I used to be motivated. I used to be a total achiever and get things done and always be on time with things and sit around and worry about stuff until I completed it. These days, that doesn’t happen as often. Things relating to work are the only things that really prevent me from being able to fall asleep. I mean, at this exact moment, I should be opening my mail, paying bills, cleaning my apartment, or doing some homework, and yet, here I am writing a blog and wishing I could watch some more TV. Is that bad? Part of why I love living by myself and being an adult is the fact that I can do exactly what I am doing right now. My bills will get paid, my apartment will get clean when I can’t stand it anymore, and somehow I still get A’s in school, so maybe it is okay to be completely lazy. I just have a hard time justifying it to those around me… or maybe just to myself.