Monday, July 27, 2009

Oh, “The Bachelorette”

I just watched one of the most romantic proposals on "The Bachelorette" that I have seen in the ten-something seasons it has been on. Reid coming back was (or maybe seemed?) so real. It was heart-wrenching and romantic.
The Bachelor and Bachelorette is a fascinating show. I have watched it nearly every season and it never ceases to make me think about if I could ever go on it. I find it an interesting experiment in human relationships, bonding, attraction, and love. Sometimes it reminds me of a modern day “arranged marriage” because the contestants are chosen for you. But that is actually one of the coolest ideas about the show, that a whole team of people are in charge of picking the “perfect” match for you based on your own criteria out of hundreds or thousands of applicants.
Everyone always complains about how lame The Bachelorette and Bachelor are because of the idea that you can fall in love and be engaged within six weeks (or is it eight?). But, I don’t think it is that crazy, especially in that environment. Tonight Reid worded it perfectly, he pointed out that they are all in their own “world” and although it is not the “real world,” it is still real. It is still real people with emotions and opinions and fears and pasts. It is just a unique experience in love. In fact, I typically defend the idea of being on the show, as crazy as many think it is, because I don’t think it is any less crazy than meeting someone online, especially a match making service like eHarmony. It is not even much different than a blind date. Maybe the fact it is a TV show adds a bit of an extra dimension, and of course there is the fact that you get a proposal when all is said and done. I do agree that part is a bit of a stretch.
As I wrote this entry I was watching The Bachelorette, so when I started this entry Reid was proposing, but now the show is over and (spoiler warning) Jillian and Ed are engaged. One of the most convincing moments of tonight that this show is real and “unscripted” is the excitement Jillian showed on her face the moment she saw Ed. She was smiling like a fool! And when he finally got down on his knee she was doing everything she could to contain herself and keep from jumping up and down with joy. It was adorable and precious.
I thought the best line of Jillian and Ed would be after Reid left when Jillian said, “Ed better not (bleeping) disappoint me,” because it was hilariously honest. Then I thought the cutest line was when Ed proposed by saying, "I want you to give me a hard time when we're 80 years old." But the best line was actually after the proposal when Jillian exclaimed, “Do you have any idea how much fun were gonna have?!” She is engaged to her best friend, and that is what she wanted on The Bachelor with Jason, so that in itself is adorable. I love the idea that Jillian thinks marriage with Ed will be a fun and exhilarating adventure.
P.S. I think one of the best parts of being on The Bachelorette would be to get to know Chris Harrison. :)

Friday, July 24, 2009

Great wedding dance

Everyone has been talking about this wedding video and tonight I finally watched it (thanks to my Mom). It cracked me up! I love it and highly doubt I would courageous enough to pull that off at my wedding, but it is amazing that they did! I'm sure dancing down the aisle is a great start to one's marriage. :)

Not sure how to embed it in this entry, so you can watch it here.


Getting notes is such a lovely way to show someone you are thinking about them. I save most of the ones I'm given. I even have love notes I received from a boy who liked me in seventh grade! I try to write them instead of just sending an e-mail because I think it means more (I guess I'm old fashioned that way). The fact that I write people notes probably comes as a surprise to most of my family because I am seriously one of the worst "prompt thank you writers" ever, but I like to write notes that mean something to someone.
My friend Amy writes me notes on her blog and each time I read a new one it completely makes my day. So thank you, Amy. I love you.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Missing New York

My mom and I have been missing New York really bad lately. We are hoping to go in October. I am already planning to save money and vacation time in preparation. Mom confessed this week that she dreams of living there someday, even if for only a year, and that has also been one of my dreams since the first time I visited in 2003. It is difficult to explain my connection with NYC, but it is honestly a part of me (as hippie as that sounds). I feel at home when I am there.

Here's one of my favorite quotes about New York from a short-lived TV show called, "The Bedford Diaries":

"New York City.
New York absorbs everything and nothing.
In New York,
time stands still,
yet moves so fast you can barely keep up with it.
In New York,
you're young,
but you're old too.
You're reckless and wise.
You're innocent and you're knowing.
Every time I step outside in this city
I feel the same excitement I did when I first got here.
New York City,
it assumes nothing,
yet demands everything that you can possibly give.
Living in New York,
it's like falling in love."

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Dance like no one's watching

I wish I was a dancer.
I always have. My sister was a dancer when she was young and I used to be so jealous that she was coordinated and brave enough to go perform on stage. I use to imagine what it would be like to go to a dance class every week and bond with my fellow dancers and pretend to be mad at my dance instructor for the torture she was putting me through. One of my best friends, Nikki, was a dancer and I use to love watching her and going to her recitals. She was amazing to watch.
Now I watch “So You Think You Can Dance” and love every minute of it. I love old musicals. I love lame dance flicks like “Center Stage” and “Step Up.” I love the way people can express themselves through dance. A person can work out their emotions and stress and heartache on the floor. It is beautiful.
These days I am obsessed with going dancing at Montana’s every weekend. It is the closest I can come to “being a dancer.” Ha, whatever that means. Line dancing is the best because the moves are decided for you and you just have to learn the steps. I don’t have to free-style and make my own moves, because that is an area where I lack! LOL. I also love to two-step, but considering that is a partner dance it is a bit more complicated and harder to come by on the weekends, but it is fun. I love going to Montana’s because it is such a great stress reliever. You can’t be mad or stressed or over-think when you’re dancing. It is a great escape, and considering they play country music most of the night it is a slice of heaven on earth!
So anyway, go turn on “So You Think You Can Dance.” It is on as I write this. Tomorrow night Katie Holmes will be dancing on the show. Hope I’m out of class in time to watch it! I love her and I’ve actually seen her on stage, which was awesome, and probably a lot of the reason I like her.

Now go dance! :)

Monday, July 20, 2009

Top Ten: What makes a good life?

In class tonight a group presented about living a positive life. We were asked to rank the following items 1-10 (one being the most important) having to do with what makes us happy and feel we live a life worth living. I think it is an interesting exercise because it can change daily, but can also remain a goal list to measure how to build your life. I think I should rank them honestly (as I did in class tonight) and have one that would be my ideal to achieve. Anyway, thought I would post the list (not my ranking of it) just because you may be interested too.

(Listed in no particular order)

Religion/Church/Relationship with God
Intimacy (Romantic relationship – there was some confusion in class, LOL)
Charity/Giving/Community service

As of tonight in class, my personal ranking:
1. Relationships
2. Family
3. Religion
4. Security
5. Education
6. Career
7. Intimacy
8. Money
9. Charity
10. Status

My ideal ranking (as of tonight also):
1. Religion
2. Intimacy
3. Family
4. Relationships
5. Security
6. Career
7. Education
8. Charity
9. Money
10. Status

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Extrovert Overload

Out of senetences.

My weekend.

Half day.
Late nights.
42nd Street.
Old friends.
Cowboy boots.
New people.
House warming.
Not enough 2-stepping.
Beer with friends.
Clean sheets.
Need oil change.
100 degrees.
Too many e-mails,
Not enough texts.
Brown eyes.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Freshman year of life

Do you remember the show “Felicity”? It was on the WB for four years beginning in 1998 (same year that launched N*SYNC and Britney Spears and “Dawson’s Creek”). I used to love it. I was obsessed the first season and by the time the fourth season came out I was in high school and far too busy and social to make time to watch it. In the beginning my Mom would watch it with me because it was for high school-ers and I was only in Junior High, so she wanted to make sure it was appropriate. It was one of the first primetime shows I ever loved. It made me want to go to college. It made me dream about college. It was what I began to hope college would be.
Well, lately I have been watching the first season and have become re-obsessed with it. I love it. It is so interesting to watch it now on the other side of college. It is fascinating to compare the show with my own college experience and to remember what I thought college would be like. The two can’t even be compared. It is no wonder that college was a disappointment. With shows like “Felicity,” and even “Gilmore Girls,” it is no wonder that college was a rough time, not to mention the fact that everyone else in American society tells you how great college is and how much better it is than high school.
Anyway, “Felicity” is a great show. I always hoped for the group that she found at NYU. Always imagined studying late into the night in the library and finding my friends in the cafeteria and befriending my RA. Things that are the same in the show as in real college life are that you figure out what you want out of life, how you want to shape it, who you want to be, what you want to change. You separate from your parents step by step. You find friends who resemble you, or the you who you want to be, or maybe separate from the friends you realize you don’t want to become. You try and figure out a major and choose one that you actually love and not that was decided for you (or by you) in the fourth grade. You fail sometimes and you laugh sometimes and sometimes you even feel like you might be home. I had some good times in college, met some nice people, did some things I never expected, and even loved my major.
But, I am glad and relieved it is over. Life is much better now (and so is grad school). I sort of feel like this year is shaping into my “freshman year of life.” I have a “grown up” job, responsibilities there and people who think I am competent. I am still in school, but feel appreciated and noticed and supported by my peers. I am “finding myself” (for lack of a better phrase) through counseling (the best gift to yourself ever, by the way). I have a “grown up” apartment, a new church, and a new group of friends who I am beginning to get to know one weekend at a time. All of these things are what I expected in college and, therefore, make me feel like I am a “first year adult.” Sounds lame, I know, but it is honest, and that is honestly all I know how to be.

Marshmallow fight

Now that I have the Internet up and running I have been enjoying catching up on all my favorite blogs. It is a very favorite past-time.

I just read one from NieNie who posted about her 4th of July and mentioned they had a marshmallow fight. I find this hilarious and ironic, because I too had a marshmallow fight on the 4th of July. I did not realize until that night that there was such a thing and didn't realize until today that other people partake in them as well. I have to admit they are a lot of fun. It was cracking up during mine. They don't hurt at all when you get hit, but they make a terrible whacking sound to make you flinch. It is kind of fascinating. Definitely recommend it. :)

Monday, July 13, 2009

Great quote

"I may still not know what I want to be when I grow up, but I do know that someday I want to live in a house filled with my books and travel souvenirs. And the walls that aren’t covered in bookshelves will be covered with photos of my family and friends. When I leave the house I will be going to a job I love, and I will return to a person I love. So, that’s the dream I'm working on."
~ Amber Morley

(found here).

Family Time

First off, just need to shout with joy that I FINALLY have internet in my (new) apartment!!!!! Yay! So happy about this very small thing! Okay, now on to things that matter…
Some of the “Texas family” came to visit California for the week and began their vacation at our house. It was SO wonderful to spend time with them! I love them. Nana, Uncle Keith, Aunt Sue, Brian, Whitney, and baby Ainsley came to stay. We definitely had a house-full, which was a lot of fun. There were beds every where. Nana stayed in my room, Brian and Whitney and Ains were in Ash’s room, Aunt Sue and Uncle Keith were on a blow up mattress in the office, and Ash and I were on a blow up mattress in the bonus room. It is always a fun kind of chaos with a house that full. I like it that way. Poor Lucy (our dog) was a bit overwhelmed with so many people around and did not know what to do with Ainsley, so she ignored her and looked a bit depressed all weekend with so many people stealing her space and attention.
The fam came in around midnight on Saturday, so we went to bed pretty soon after that. The next morning I set my alarm early to have maximum playing time with Ainsley! We enjoyed bagels and a lazy morning. Then Brian, Whitney, Ash, Chris (Ash’s boyfriend) and I went to Old Town San Diego and enjoyed yummy margaritas and $8 guacamole. Then we drove down to Coronado Island and looked around the Hotel Del. Remind me that someday I want to stay there for a weekend getaway…or get married there (just kidding…sort of). We all had a backyard BBQ that night. Later Aunt Sue, Whitney, Mom, Ash and I watched the first half of “White Christmas.” It may have been my favorite moment of the weekend. It is a movie that is so central to who all of us are and how we celebrate the holidays. My mom and her sisters all grew up watching “White Christmas” every holiday. My mom says they would pour over the TV guide every December looking for when it would be on and that when the sisters had all moved out on their own they would call each other when it was on TV. Now, years later, Whitney, Ash, and I all love the movie, so watching it together was so bonding and wonderful. It was definitely a moment to remember for me.
Today we all had lunch at The Beach House in San Diego and it was awesome. We reserved a spot on the patio and when the tide is high enough waves literally crash on the rocks behind you and may get you wet. Luckily, the tide was low while we were there, but eating right on the beach was incredible. It was a gorgeous day and the ocean was beautiful. Whenever I am near the ocean I ask myself why I have not moved back to San Diego yet. I love being by the ocean. I love the way it smells and how beautiful it is and the way the air feels on your skin and how you can still smell and feel it when you get back home. My food was also great. I had a steamed shellfish combination full of my favorites: crab legs, shrimp, scallops, and mussels. Yum! That food is one way to my good side. Then we all went to Stone Brewery in Escondido to go beer tasting. Only five of us could get tickets for the actual tour though. It was sort of interesting, but the coolest part is that it’s free and at the end you can sample up to four beers. I just couldn’t get over that is was free. Afterward we came home, had dinner, and all of us who had to head north left. Just before leaving though I got to spend more time with Ains (sorry I hog time with her, Ash, but at least you make her laugh!). I even got to bathe her! It was awesome and so fun. She is a sweetie and I just adore spending time with her. I love babies. They make everything right in the world. When I hold one I have no cares or worries, I am just all about the bundle of innocence and wonder and joy in my arms.
Anyway, it was great weekend and starting tomorrow my week will be very busy and possibly overwhelming, especially considering that I am taking Wednesday off to join the Texas fam at Disneyland, but it’s worth it. In the end, life is too short and family is too important to not take time off work.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Top Ten: 4th of July

Things I am looking forward to this 4th of July weekend (in no particular order)

1. A day off work…that I get paid for!
2. Sleeping in.
3. Having Em home.
4. Spending the weekend with Ilise.
5. Going dancing at Montana’s (Montana’s could be a whole Top Ten on its own).
6. Seeing Rachel (this too could be its own Top Ten).
7. Celebrating my Grandma’s 79th birthday and asking her questions about her life for my Adult Development class (Fun fact about my family tree: Both my Mom’s mom and my Dad’s mom were born on the 4th of July in the same year!).
8. Seeing George and Kevin and our other Montana’s/church friends.
9. Eating yummy BBQ hotdogs and burgers, as well as Mom’s spinach dip, spice cake, and homemade ice cream.
10. Watching more episodes of “Felicity” season one, which I have re-discovered since moving.

Dear Mom,

What do you remember most about the 4th of July when you were growing up/still single?

I have decided it might be fun to post a question a week for my mom to answer on her blog and vice versa. It gets us writing more and also it will bond us, as well as allow us to share some stories. We'll see how it works out and if it is a flop, but it could be fun. Besides, we are each others' biggest blog readers, so we may as well make it more interesting for ourselves!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


Last Friday was the annual Day of Prayer at APU and it was remarkable to see what a different place I am in a year later. At this time last year I was writing a painful letter (during the personal devotion time…where I also wrote most of this post) full of confusion, fear, and anger at God. I was confused about the direction and purpose of my life six months after graduating undergrad. I felt alone and lost and basically like a failure all around. I can say now that I was very distant from God. I was also still coming to terms about how radically different, incredibly painful, and very disappointing my undergrad experience, and simply life away from home and high school, had been. I was lonely, stuck, and scared.
The most ironic thing about my circumstances between then and now is that nothing has really changed. I am still unsure about the direction in my life; my job is still temporary and therefore uncertain. Plus, a few other personal things have also occurred (or returned) and tore up my being, my life, my faith, and my relationships from October to February. But, what did dramatically change since this day one year ago is me.
I am coming to terms with, and welcoming, who I am. I am God’s beloved. I am closer with God and more aware of Him, His will, and how He is working in my life in a way I haven’t been since high school. I am committed and determined to be content no matter what the circumstances, as Jesus in the Beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-12) and Paul (Philippians 4:11) said to be. At this point last year things got much worse before getting better and although these circumstances haven’t changed all that much, I have changed and will continue to. I am learning that ultimately that is all one can do. You can remain stagnant and angry and be a victim, or you can make things better. Everyone knows the saying that “the only thing that doesn’t change is change,” so I have to be an adult and change too. You have to take a deep breath, and step forward proactively, and in faith. We are not talking a big step, even a very small step will do. It is these small, almost insignificant, steps that take you down the road.
I have learned that as long as you walk with God He doesn’t care how slow or small that step is, He will be right beside you, holding your hand, placing one brick in front of you at a time to build your yellow brick road to a home and a life with Him. When you look too far ahead it is intimidating and tough to see the path in front of you, but when you look down, God shows you where to keep stepping and when you glance behind you, you can see how far you’ve come.