Tuesday, May 12, 2009

A peak at my old fiction...

I never... (written for class in Feb 2007).

I never told him. Never in the car every Sunday before church, never in the car every Sunday after church. Never after school or on the rainy days he would give me a ride home. Never when we went to baseball games or birthday parties or youth group. Never the day when I bumped into him at the grocery store. Never on the road trip to his house one spring break. Never at midnight on New Year’s Eve. Never told him on the phone or when he surprised me at my apartment or when he was sick during the Super Bowl. Never told him in his car or his bedroom. Never told him at his house or when we went to visit our friend in the hospital. Never told him in San Francisco. Never even told him when he looked at me with those brown eyes and practically begged me to say what I was thinking.
I never told him I was thankful for him. Never told him I loved his smile. Never told him I thought he was brave and kind and funny. Never told him I admired him for standing up for me. Never told him I hated those ugly green shorts. Never told him I wrote him a letter one day explaining why I did what I did and how I felt after he said what he said and didn’t say what I wanted to hear. Never told him I lied that Sunday afternoon he asked if I was okay with his decision to leave. Never told him I was jealous every time he was in the car with some other girl. I never told him I loved meeting his mom and hanging out with his best friend. I never told him he was my best friend. Never told him I wanted to see him the day he left. Never told him I cried the day he told me he loved me. Never told him I was in love with him. I never told him I prayed we would get married one day.

1 comment:

Amanda Luke said...

Carrie - One of the things that you'll discover as you get older is that you will have the courage to say what is in your heart. Just make sure it is authentic and sincere and you will lose nothing by telling someone how you feel. You're just putting it out there - it's their issue in how they deal with it. You just wanted to let them know someone cares about them. They don't have to do anything with it and you will have honored your feelings by saying it. Unless, of course, telling them something that would be cruel. You might want to think that one through more before you say anything.

It was great to see you this weekend.