Saturday, April 4, 2009

Melancholy baby

This is who I am today. I did something I’ve never done before – maybe even never fathomed doing before – I drove home and halfway there I turned around and drove back to my apartment. It was surreal and strange, but it is just one of those days. Mama said there’d be days like this.
The last two weeks have been rough for most of the people close to me, including me. They have been tough for a variety of reasons. Oh well. These things happen. But today I needed to be alone. I needed to escape and disappear and sit in my own noise and voice and thoughts and tears and prayers. I needed to be. And I needed to feel like an adult. Like I am capable of handling my self and my life, because it has seemed to be two steps ahead of me all week, so I needed to catch it and reel it back in. And tonight, I have. I have prayed and listened to a beautiful sermon about worry that the Lord brought me perfectly just for today. I have read and watched “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” and drove a lot and now am blogging and listening to The Fray, a great melancholy CD.
All is fine. I am fine. Things are fine. And the Lord is good.
Mama said there’d be days like this and Mom told me I didn’t have to come home to make everything better.

2 comments:

Rachel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rachel said...

I am actually really proud of you, but not at the same time because I knew you could do this all along so the fact that you did does not surprise me. You are a strong, independent woman who is learning first hand what it is like to survive on God and God alone. You are right, you don't have to go home to fix things and feel better. You can go wherever you want because God will always be there waiting.

I deleted by first one because there was a typo...I hate my life lol