Friday, December 12, 2008

A year ago today

...was the eve of my undergrad graduation. I was with my mom and her family and enjoying my feeling of accomplishment. I also had a job interview lined up with the undergraduate Registrar at APU. That day I had decided not to apply to grad school. I went back into the Registrar and asked for my check and transcript order back and told the woman I had changed my mind and did not need to mail a transcript (to UCI). I threw away my application essays and cried to my favorite professor and then to a friend and to my roommate, Rachel. I cried again when I called my mom to tell her my new plan of “not going to grad school.” And again, later that night, when I told my Dad over the phone in the middle of a Christmas-decorated Crate and Barrel.
Although I cried, it was not out of disappointment. I cried because I didn’t want to let others down and because I don’t do great with change. However, inside, I was relieved and happy and excited for the first time in months. I knew grad school for my English degree or my MFA in Fiction was not the right choice at the time, and when I let it go I was so glad and felt so alive. I hadn’t felt alive or like myself in months at that point of my life.
Flash forward to my life today. I still live in the same apartment and with two of the same roommates, but that is about all that didn’t change. The interview I had lined up a year ago led me to my current job in a separate (but related) department. I am also in grad school, which is still a big surprise to me, in a completely different program. I also rarely write fiction anymore, but read it when I can and dream of storylines here and there. Life is simpler and less filled these days.
I had no idea a year ago that this is where I would be today. God is full of surprises and good plans if you love and trust Him.

1 comment:

Jan said...

We're so proud of you, sweetie! Mom