Is it weird that I sort of silently dread New Year's Eve? I don't like it. I think it all started when I was in junior high and the Y2K craze occurred. Everybody was so freaked out that the world would end or computers would blow up or the whole world would flip upside down that I too got scared. Even to this day I feel a bit of that un-certain fear when the clock strikes midnight and the year changes (I have issues, I know... LOL). Part of my dread of a new year is that I hate change. Although it is simply the changing of a date, it is a whole new year and it takes me time to adjust.
Tonight I am ringing in the new year with my roommates and some friends and we are doing it "southern" style at Montana's, a country western bar with line dancing that we love and is so close to our little apartment we could walk! I even learned how to two-step via You Tube for the occasion. :) It will be fun. Tomorrow is the Rose Parade which my Dad faithfully wakes up for bright and early every year to watch the pre-parade show. When I was little I use to wake up with him and watch/sleep on the couch during the pre-show. I will be driving back home tomorrow and will miss the first showing of the parade and our traditional family breakfast, but luckily the parade shows all day and there will be breakfast leftovers in the fridge.
As for New Year's resolutions, I decided a few years ago not to make resolutions for the year. Too much pressure for a perfectionist, achiever, first born. But, I try to ignore the dread of change and focus on the chance to celebrate one more year of life and what a blessing that is. I try to look at each New Year as another year of days to wake up with God's renewed mercy and another gift of a day and to view that day as a chance to seek happiness and life and love and to do so with grace and joy. I fail at this goal daily, hence the no resolutions policy, but still each day is another chance to try.
So, goodbye 2008. Goodbye to the year I began as a new college graduate. The year I got my first full-time, grown up job. The year I bought my first car and paid many bills to my own name. The year I visited New York again. The year I started grad school. The year I can look back on and call my "transition year."
And hello 2009. May it be a year of continued good health for me and my loved ones. A year of stability and deep friendships. A year with less transition and change. A year of thinking positively, and less fearfully. And a year of continuing to view the world through God's eyes and to continue to pursue happiness.
Happy New Year.