#cubiclelife wisdom

Today a coworker reminded me that I need to live my life. Prioritize my life. Put me first.

I had confessed that sometimes I worry that I should move closer to my family to enjoy every last day with them because some day we will have no more days together.

She told me that makes sense, but that is their life and I have to cultivate mine.

Then I confessed (what is she the new Pope?) that sometimes oftentimes I don't even know what I want in my own life. That if everything was out the window, I would have no clue what to do or which direction to go.

But I also acknowledged that the older I get the more I start to think my life is going in the direction it should, even if it wasn't the direction I expected.

(sorry for my posting absence and I have no promise on when I'll pick it back up regularly  In the meantime, I will post when inspired or want to remember and don't want to use a pencil.)

5 years

Top 10 (or 20) things I’ve learned as an employee:

1. It’s important to know how to use the copy machine.

2. How to craft an email that balances professional, pleading, demanding, and sweet.

3. Organization is everything.

4. Listen to your voicemails every day.

5. You don’t have to respect someone, but you have to be polite.

6. Apologize, but only when it’s truly needed.

7. A “work BFF” makes a world of difference.

8. Only complain to coworkers you trust (those people are your friends).

9. Age has nothing to do with good leadership.

10. Make to do lists.

11. Most decisions are made outside of work (this is networking).

12. Be your own advocate.

13. Keep your integrity at all costs. Do the right thing no matter how risky or unpopular your decision. At the end of the day, you have to know you did everything you could

14. Administrative assistants are the people with the real power. Be nice to them, the office runs because of them.

15. Paychecks really do bring happiness (even though it seems shallow).

16. When you’re angry, take a break.

17. I don’t like to talk work, answer the phone, or make decisions before 9am.

18. Fridays are the longest day of the week.

19.Laughter at the workplace makes a world of difference.

20. Coworkers make or break a job (I’ve been blessed with some really great ones). 

(and now for some seriousness...)

Dear Amy: The Bachelor via Twitter

Dear Amy,

I am beyond excited that you want to follow twitter during The Bachelor tomorrow. It is now my favorite thing about the show. The problem I have is that my twitter feed is packed with tweets starting at 5, which is complicated because I can’t watch the show until 8. So, the first thing to know is that most people live tweet on east coast time, so finish the dishes and then be prepared to read hilarious tweets backward until 5. The second is to search and use the hashtag #TheBachelor when tweeting (which you did and I am very proud). 

I may have gone a bit overboard on who you should follow while watching, so I’ll start with the most crucial and then list a bunch of Bachelor alum you can check out if you want more tweets.

Also, remember that you love me, even if I am obsessive about twitter and reality TV.

Here is a list of who to follow while watching The Bachelor…

The basics:

Dana Weiss ‏ @Possessionista – the single most important person to follow. She loves to live tweet The Bachelor and also has become twitter friends with most of the cast and they love her live tweets too. Plus, I love her tweets in general, she is one of my favorites to follow.

Jennifer Weiner ‏  @jenniferweiner – she is an author and LOVES live tweeting the show.

lara cohen ‏ @Larakate – not sure if she will live tweet, but I love her tweets in general and she and Dana often go back and forth.

Andrea Lavinthal ‏ @andilavs – ditto to what I said about Lara.

Sean Lowe ‏ @SeanLowe09 – for obvious reasons (since he is THE bachelor), although it probably won’t be too juicy or funny.

Chris Harrison ‏  @chrisbharrison – also for obvious reasons (and I love him).

These next four people work on the show and tweet often throughout: 

Peter Scalettar ‏ @peterjscalettar

elan gale ‏  @theyearofelan

Robert Mills ‏ @Millsy11374

Mike Fleiss ‏  @fleissmeister

My favorite Bachelor alum to follow on twitter:

Jenna Burke ‏ @TheOverAnalyst – one of my favorite tweeters in general and I am sure she’ll be live tweeting.

Ashley S. ‏ @AshleySpivey – from Brad’s season, writes a blog in review of every episode, and is good friends of many Bachelor alum.

Michelle Money ‏ @MoneyMichelle – the “bad” one from Brad’s season, but now I really like her (mostly because of her tweets).

Ali Fedotowsky ‏  @AliFedotowsky – as in Ali the Bachelorette

Tenley Molzahn ‏  @TenleyMolzahn

Jillian Harris ‏  @jillianharris

DeAnna Stagliano ‏ @DeAnnaPappas – DeAnna the Bachelorette

Ashley L. Rosenbaum ‏  @ashhebert  and J.P. Rosenbaum ‏  @JP_Rosenbaum - as in “Ashley and JP”

Other alum to look into:

Molly Mesnick ‏  @MollyMesnick – as Molly and Jason

Kacie Boguskie ‏ @kacielynnb – sweet Kacie B from Ben’s season

Michael Stagliano ‏  @MichaelStag – was on The Bachelorette, but I don’t remember him, however, he was also on both seasons of Bachelor Pad and is a fan favorite for someday being The Bachelor.

William Holman ‏ @WilliamFHolman – also a Bachelor alum from Ashley’s season and I find him witty and sometimes charming.

Emily Maynard ‏  @EmilyMaynard – we’ll see if she tweets since she “broke his heart.”

Trista Sutter ‏  @tristasutter – sometimes she tweets too much and sometimes she annoys me, but she is basically Bachelor royalty.

Natalie Getz ‏ @nataliegetz – also has a write up about every episode (and is a Bachelor alum)

2012, back in time to say good bye

Dear friends,

Happy New Year!!!

Thank you for checking back in to visit and read after my long hiatus. I really appreciate the friends and family who have mentioned missing my blog updates, and as promised, I do plan to bring back the blogging for 2013. I can’t totally explain my absence, except to say that I had a bad case of writer’s block and also began to feel a bit self-obsessed with this little space in the internet. But I am back and so thankful for you to come back alongside me!

2012 was a good year and because my blog was quiet, here are some highlights:

1 Vacation to Palm Desert with my fam, but most of the time it was just me and Ash.

2 Became a fan of Angels' baseball

3 Sad about the passing of Whitney Houston and Nora Ephron

4 Traveled with Ash to DC to visit our good friend, Nikki, and our cousins

5 Heard Anne Lamott talk (for the second time), stalked George Clooney, saw celebrities for an opening night of theater in LA, & “met” several famous women at the LA Women’s Expo

6 Permed my very straight hair 

7 Spent Thanksgiving with Mom’s side of the family in Sarasota, FL!

8 Lots of time spent at Disneyland

9 ASHLEY AND CHRIS GOT ENGAGED!

10 Soaked up time with family and friends (especially the Teri’s)

This New Year, 2013, will bring a lot of change for me due to work, family, and housing. So my theme, rather than a resolution, will be to be open to change, and therefore brave. I will continually remind myself to welcome change and remind myself that I can do hard things. I know it will be a great year of lessons and learning, which is only fitting since 2012 has been so relatively easy on me. All in all, I am looking forward to the journey.  

I wish you all a very happy, peaceful, healing, and healthy 2013. 

the moving future

Lately I have been spending a lot of time thinking about my future. It is always something I think about these days, more so than any other time in my life. I have been asked a lot recently about my future and where I will live and what I want to do. I seem to tell people the answers I think I am supposed to, it is what I have always been best at, so the habit is very hard to break.

But today I had a thought... it is okay to stay. It is okay to go home. It is okay to live in the same area for your entire life. It is not a loss. It is not a failure. That person's life is not smaller than someone who left. I tell people that I want to try living in New York City, and to be honest, I do think about it. I talk about a possible future in Texas for a grad program or if my parents ever move there. I am dying to visit Seattle to consider a move there. But actually, these are just answers I say for people to think I am more interesting or driven or braver than I actually am.

Truth is, I don't think I want to leave. I realized today that all of my favorite TV shows and movies and books are about staying or returning home. Gilmore Girls, Providence, Brothers & Sisters, October Road, etc. All those plots are about home and coming to terms with being an adult where you grew up. It is not easy. I talk to my mom nearly every day and I am - or maybe we both are - still learning how to navigate our relationship as her baby girl grows up and as I realize my mom is an adult in the real world. I have to say, being in the corporate world and living on my own and having good friends my parent's age, has given me a new level of understanding or a new dimension of a relationship about them.

All this to say, your life is still full if you never left where you grew up but please move out of your parents' house for at least a bit). I will still be just as capable and accomplished if I ever decide to return to my hometown. I think all I want to know is that home is always there and that you can always come home. I heard a great quote about this today: "life needs to be an adventure. The world is big and it's exciting and if you don't like it, home is always waiting for you. The door is always open, you can return."

This thought is so exciting and inspiring, but what about breaking leases and having money for food when you move away? How do you navigate the decision to leave and the decision to accept that you should go back? It's all a very interesting thought process as a single, corporate, twenty-something.

So, we'll see...

hiatus

Please forgive the hiatus. 

I wrote my Nora Ephron post for my own need to document daily life, but aside from that, I know I haven't written in a while. 

I have to say, I think my hiatus will continue for a bit. Life is good and busy and happy, but I seem to have some writer's block. 

In the meantime, thank you for checking in. 

Nora Ephron: Sally, Annie, and Kathleen

Today, the film industry, literary world, and most of my inner circle, lost a valued member in the passing of Nora Ephron. She was one of my all time favorite screenwriters and directors. "Sleepless in Seattle" and "You've Got Mail" are in my top 10 favorite movies of all time ("Sleepless" is actually in my top five) and "Julie and Julia" ranks in my top 25 for sure.

Nora wrote female characters in a flattering, smart, not overtly feminist, yet clearly feminist, kind of way. She wrote about women who were smart and funny and capable and were their own heroines. They did not play the victim, they were not helpless or dumb or desperate. They were strong yet quirky, which are two qualities that make the best kind of woman. On the other hand, her leading men were not stereotypical either. They too had many sides and emotions and humor. Nora set the bar on the romantic comedy as a genre, and as a woman who loves to see rom-coms, I can say with certainty, that she stands alone in excellence. Her love stories were full of literature and intentionality and were slow moving; not about one night stands, pick up lines, and meeting at bars. 

I once read - through Natalie's blog - about what kind of Meg Ryan and Co. character are you, and it made me think of a more appropriate question for me, which is what one of Meg Ryan's Nora characters are you? I believe every woman is probably one, or at least some of one. My friend Amy and I have discussed this. The theory is as follows...

You are a Sally if... you're quirky, follow a set of rules you don't quite know why you follow, and can surprise people when they least expect it ("I'll have what she's having"). You may also be the type that folds her underwear, among other quirky habits. 

You are an Annie if... you are a bit uptight, you have a stalking tendency, and need constant validation from your friends. You are also known for wanting to live in a movie version of your own life ("you don't want to be in love, you want to be in love in a movie").

You are a Kathleen if... you are cute and innocent, nostalgic, and like to read. You don't like to be out of your comfort zone, but will make changes when you realize it is better to be unsure than unhappy ("there's the dream of someone else"). You also may also be her if you hate boats and love daises. 

Personally, I am an Annie. I have stalker tendencies and I tend to live in my day dreams rather than reality. I can also totally fall in love with someone simply by hearing their voice on the radio and would probably date a nerdy guy just so he would feel better and I would be adored... for a while, just like Annie. Amy, on the other hand, is a Kathleen. She is cheery and smart and upbeat and knows when to step out of her comfort zone. 

Trust me, you will now want to watch "When Harry Met Sally," "Sleepless in Seattle," and "You've Got Mail" to add to my descriptions, test my theory, and decide who you are too. 

This whole post is part of why Nora Ephron was a genius and will be missed by me. Her work made a lasting impression in my life and I will always admire her literary and comedic talent. 

(here are some great articles about Nora... one, two, three and four).